Seven Years
by caseycoop
Summary: A planned movie on the first best seller by author Dan J. Humphrey forces the couple that haven't talked in years to come face to face again, only to discover that maybe they never really got over each other in the first place. D/S AU COMPLETE
1. Seven Years: Prologue

"_**Seven Years"**_

_**Summary: **__A planned movie on the first bestseller by author Dan. J Humphrey forces the couple that haven't talked in years to come face to face again, only to rediscover old jealousies and emotions and the possibility that maybe they never really got over each other in the first place. _

_**Author's Note IMPORTANT: **__This story is basically AU, and while this is a fan fiction based on the TV adaption, aspects from the book series will be included. __**I do not **__agree with some character traits from the book (__basically Dan's smoking)_

_**Disclaimer: **__Unfortunately, I do not nor will likely ever own Gossip Girl. Due credit must be given to Cecily von Ziegesar who was responsible for coming up with the characters of Serena, Blair, Dan, Nate, Chuck, Jenny etc… and Josh Schwartz who brought them to the small screen. _

The house lights were finally turned on again, revealing for the first time the crowd of almost three thousand to the young dancers on stage, and the thunderous applause began to slowly die away, ending yet another three hour dance recital that Dan Humphrey had patiently sat through with only his sister Jenny as company.

"It wasn't that bad." She scolded him lightly as the crowded theatre rose from their seats to face the cold Manhattan February night. He was complaining, under his breath to avoid meeting the wrath of other pride-filled parents, about the other dancers.

"No, it wasn't." He conceded with her. "Emily was perfect. It was every body else."

"You're biased." She reminded him as they entered the just as crowded lobby to wait for the aforementioned Emily; Dan's nine year old daughter to emerge from the stage entrance. "Em can never do any wrong with you. And any parent would tell you their kid was perfect up there."

"Aunt Jenny." The loud squeal could be heard quite distinctly over the din of the foyer, as a small blonde girl, her hair still tied back in a perfect ballerina bun, came hurtling towards the two, throwing herself into her Aunt's legs.

"Hey Emmy," Jenny laughed, using the nickname that only she was permitted to use, bending down to her niece's height. "You were wonderful out there." She smiled, wrapping her up in a hug. "I think that's your best recital yet."

"You say that every time Aunt J." Emily sighed, sounding incredibly troubled for a nine year old. "I was okay I guess, I forgot some of the steps."

"Perfect and humble." Jenny heard her brother mutter behind her. "You were amazing Em." He spoke up so his daughter could hear him. "All that practice paid off." He somehow managed to remove Emily from Jenny's grasp, lifting her up into a tight hug. "I'm so proud of you."

From the other side of the foyer, a young woman who looked like she belonged more on the cover of the latest fashion magazine or European catwalk runway than a children's dance recital, watched the heart warming family scene unfold.

Her long blonde hair had been tied back into a messy bun so it couldn't get into her eyes, and she was wearing a loose black knee length dress that still accomplished showing off her toned figure to every divorced father and jealous mother in the room.

She nudged her "date" for the night, her mother Lily, and discreetly nodded her head in the direction of the small family.

"Can you go get her please, we really need to go." She didn't want to be a callous, heartless woman pulling a child away from her father, but she really wanted to be back to the sanctuary of her Upper East Side penthouse home.

Lily who still had trouble passing off that she was the grandmother to a nine year old briskly walked through the room; a path miraculously forming in front of her as people scrambled, until she reached her intended target.

"Ahem," She coughed, interrupting the quiet conversation the three Humphrey's were having.

"Lily." Dan nodded curtly, standing up to his full height after he'd put Emily down again. Lily nodded back as a greeting before turning to her granddaughter with a warm smile.

"Your mum is waiting for you, we need to leave now." She held out a hand, which Emily obediently grasped. Dan sighed, and for a split second he thought about what would happen if he actually challenged the van der Woodsen women, and demanded that he be allowed to take his daughter with him.

It wasn't his weekend though, and he wasn't prepared to cause a scene in a room where most of the Upper East Side elite were.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay Em?" Dan bent down to give her one last hug before Jenny did the same. "We'll go see Grandpa Rufus next weekend." Emily smiled and nodded and then let her Nana Lil lead her away.

Once she was gone the two remaining Humphrey's slowly began to push their way out of the building.

"You know." Jenny finally started speaking again once they made it out into the open Manhattan night, passing the waiting convoy of limousine's, to walk back to Dan's apartment. "You're every bit as successful and influential as Serena is now. You can probably get a better custody arrangement with Emily."

The blonde twenty seven year old fashion designer saw how much it killed Dan to hand his daughter over to Lily van der Woodsen every second Sunday night when she came to collect her grand daughter, and she saw how much it upset Emily too.

"This is the arrangement we both agreed to." Dan sighed, he had often fantasized about suing for a better custody deal, but he didn't want to put Emily in the middle of a court case again; to be fought over by the two people that were meant to love her most in the world.

The second she got within arm reach, Serena wrapped her only child up in a tight hug.

"I'm so proud of you baby girl." She was excited. "That was an excellent show." She picked up Emily's bag that she had been carrying earlier, and they slowly began to make their way out of the theatre with Lily following them to the waiting limo outside.

It was a long and difficult process, Emily had to stop every couple of steps to receive congratulations and praise from the people who were on a charity board with either Lily or Serena or to stop and squeal excitedly with one of her fellow dancers who had been on stage with her that night.

When they finally made it out past the doors, Serena let out a deep sigh of relief, sliding into the backseat of their waiting limo; pulling her hair out of the bun, finally feeling like she could relax.

"Don't slouch. It's hideous." Lily scolded her daughter as the limo slowly pulled away from the curb and into the constant rush of New York traffic. Emily giggled; watching her mother be scolded by her grandmother was always fun to watch, and a surprisingly frequent occurrence.

"I have deserved the right to relax mother." Serena narrowed her navy blue eyes at the older woman. "I was sitting next to old Worthington for the last three hours while he continuously ogled me."

Emily giggled again, but shut up quickly after her grandmother shot her a quick, sharp glare.

Lily let her daughter and grand daughter out at the front door of their apartment complex; the white gloved doorman already waiting for them at the glassed doors. "I'll talk to you later Serena dear." She called out calmly, their so called disagreement earlier forgotten.

Serena brushed her mother off with a wave; she could only handle so much of her mother in a night. "I have some double choc chip mint in the freezer." She announced quietly grabbing Emily's hand while her mother disappeared again into the traffic. "How about we go dig in?"

Emily nodded, excited as she started to drag Serena towards the door. It was nights' like these that the little girl loved the most, and was going to treasure as she grew older; when she had her mother all to herself, not having to share her with a husband or a boyfriend or her Nana Lil.

Dan had long ago said good night to his sister who had left him alone in his penthouse apartment with the view of Central Park. He had mercifully changed out of his suit and into the old pair of tracksuit pants that he wore to bed each night, before pouring a tumbler of whiskey for himself and walking over to the large window in the living room that gave him the perfect view of the famous park.

Standing there, looking down at the busy Manhattan road, he knew that in one of the tall apartment buildings inhabited by the rich and famous that surrounded the park, his daughter an ex-wife would be hiding away in the penthouse; talking and playing with each other before Emily was sent to bed to be ready for school the next day.

It was nights like these, coming home from one of Emily's many recitals and concerts and school productions, when he was all alone that he found himself playing a game of _What If… _

_What if Serena and I had made it; if we were still married?_

_**Casey xXx**_

_**[Edited: 10 March 2010]**_


	2. A Life to Love

**A/N: See previous chapter**

Staring at the bright screen of his laptop, Dan believed that it was truly mocking him; the blank white page was a testament to his current writer's block. He felt like slamming his hands down on the keyboard, just for the font to appear on the screen.

Instead, he ran his fingers through his short dark hair and reached for the packet of cigarettes that was sitting next to the stupid piece of technology. He didn't smoke often; it was something that had started only in the last year or two and only when he was stressed.

He had told Emily he would quit, she had been horrified when she found the packet during one of her weekends with him, and he did…for a while. Letting the smoke settle in the room, he took another shot at typing something, anything.

The shrill sound of his landline phone startled him out of the reverie he was finally settling into. He snuffed the cigarette immediately, feeling like he had been caught out, and reached for the receiver that was sitting next to the computer.

"Hello?" He swung away from the desk, glad for another computer break.

"Daniel Humphrey?" The voice that answered was professional, no nonsense and they used his full first name. Only those who knew him purely as an author called him by his publishing name.

"This is Jessica Winters. I'm an assistant to Brian Goldberg." The woman continued when Dan confirmed his name. The name of the talented movie producer caught his attention. Why on Earth was the assistant to Brian Goldberg calling him at eleven o'clock on a Saturday morning?

"He optioned the rights to your book six months ago; he's incredibly interested in turning _A Life to Love _into a movie. He'd like to meet with you as soon as possible."

"S…Sure." Dan, for the first time in almost eight years stuttered, unable to comprehend what he had just heard.

"How does one o'clock this afternoon sound to you?"

**~G~G~**

He threw his keys down on the small side table in the living room as he loosened the tie he rarely wore, but had put on for the occasion. He tried to make sense of the last hour, sitting in a large office with the legendary movie producer responsible for creating some of the biggest blockbusters in recent years. He wanted to turn his first book, his first bestseller, into a movie.

Continuing through the penthouse into his office, he pulled his copy of _A Life to Love _off the shelf, where it was located next to his four other best sellers. Opening up to a random page, he read silently to himself.

_To say that she was perfect would be a lie, for she was severely flawed. But to him, it didn't matter. Her blue eyes still sparkled like they held the secret to life, her infectious smile could still light up a room and her laugh could always change his mood…_

He slammed the paperback closed again, and closed his eyes deep in thought. He had told the other man that he needed to consider his offer. Goldberg had given him a fortnight to do so; they had other the rights to other bestselling books.

Did he really want his story turned into a movie, to be up there on the big screen for everyone to see? It had been such an autobiographical novel, even though technically it had been fictionalised. Eight years ago, when the book was first published, he would have jumped at this offer, not even hesitating before he agreed; but now he wasn't so sure if he wanted to bring everything up again.

Moving back into the living room, the worn paperback still in his hand, he collapsed onto the couch and gazed down at the photos that littered the coffee table in front of him. One in particular caught his attention.

It was of Emily, like they all were, and it had been taken only months after her first birthday. They had been in Paris, where Serena had been modelling a fashion show, and while the small family of three had snuck away from everything to go do some sightseeing, Serena had snapped the photo of father and daughter while they were playing with each other on the grassed area shadowed by the Eiffel Tower.

Serena. He sighed again, already regretting his thoughts on what needed to be done. He needed to get Serena to agree to this. He had to talk to the woman he hadn't spoken a word to in seven years.

"Emily Elizabeth, your grandmother's going to be here soon." Serena called up to her daughter from the base of the stairs. Lily had called, wanting to take her daughter and granddaughter out for a late afternoon tea, and the woman didn't like to be kept waiting.

"You need to hurry up baby girl." She checked the time on her platinum Tiffany watch; they were thankfully not running late. Yet.

When the doorbell did ring, only five minutes later; Emily still had not emerged from her room. "I can't stall for long Em." She called up the stairs once more. How long did it take a nine year old to get ready? She'd been up there for a while now.

"We're almost ready. I promise." She said as she opened the door. "I know you have reservations."

"What are you talking about?" The voice she was expecting was not the feminine, controlling the voice of her mother. No. It was the voice of her first ex-husband.

"D…Dan?" Serena's sapphire eyes widened. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Can I talk to you?" The author didn't wait for an invitation inside, but at least the blonde moved out of his way as he crossed the threshold; too shocked to do anything else.

"Daddy." Now Emily emerged from her room, squealing excitedly and racing down the stairs as she spotted her father from the top. "You're here." Dan caught her in a hug, before she could do any damage.

"Why are you here?" She asked as an afterthought. "Am I going out with you today?"

Dan shook his head remorsefully; he wished he could take his daughter though. "Not today." He frowned. "I'm actually here to talk to your mother."

"We're about to go out." Serena interrupted one hand on her hip as she glared at her ex. Who did he think he was, bursting into her home like this?

"It'll be quick." He promised, straightening back up to meet the occasional model's height, grabbing Em's hand as a form of comfort. Serena glanced at her watch.

"You have one minute."

"I met with Brian Goldberg an hour ago. He wants to turn _A Life to Love _into a movie."

His speech had only taken him ten seconds, but it was more than enough to get Serena's full attention.

"What?" Her voice hadn't meant to come out only as a whisper, but she was unable to produce a sound any louder. "What did you say?"

"I said I had to think about it. He gave me two weeks."

Serena sat down on the couch opposite Dan; trying to comprehend the information he had just hit her with. While she thought about it, Dan was able to get a good look at the woman he hadn't seen up close in almost a decade. She still looked like the old Serena, time hadn't affected her.

"Serena, Emily are you ready?" The silence in the room was interrupted when Lily entered without so much as knocking at the door.

"Daniel." She said in surprise and Dan took back his earlier sentiment that only those who didn't know him called him Daniel. His ex-mother-in-law had _always _called him Daniel. She turned back to Serena and smiled tightly.

"Are you ready?" She repeated, as if the extra person in the room was only a mild inconvenience. "I have reservations."

Serena looked up at Dan's waiting face. 'I…I have to think about it." She really needed to consider this; the decision was harder than she thought. "Em, go with Nana Lil." She picked up her handbag.

Emily pouted for a split second, but regained composure before she could be scolded.

"I'll show you my room next time." She whispered into Dan's ear as she hugged him goodbye. He kissed her cheek, and stood up as well following the three women out of the door.

_No matter how long or short it may be; everyone will experience a relationship like no other. They'll love stronger than they ever will in the future; they'll fight harder, they'll love longer. _

_It doesn't matter how old you'll be when you first meet this person, it doesn't matter how long it takes to get them to even glance back at you. In the end you'll know it all be worth it. _

_October 8, 2005 that's when this story truly began_

**Casey xXx**

**[Edited: March 11 2010]**


	3. Some Things Are Just Unavoidable

"_I want more." Serena complained playfully, laughing as she pushed the small white plate that held the last crumbs of strawberry cheesecake to the middle of the alfresco table._

"_The baby wants more." She added, knowing that it would soften her husband up. She pushed her blonde hair back off her face, distractedly tying her hair up in a loose ponytail. It was the beginning of a hot summer, a week after her twenty-first birthday; and she was uncomfortable and tired of being six months pregnant._

_Dan laughed as Serena stabbed her fork into his cake, impatient with having to wait to order another; he wasn't willing to go up against his pregnant and extremely hormonal wife. They were in a quiet café in Brooklyn, having just finished visiting Rufus and Jenny and stalling the return to their lavish Upper East Side penthouse._

The restaurant Serena was currently trapped in was a far cry from the Brooklyn café she had regularly gone to with Dan during her pregnancy and Emily's infancy. The quiet clinks of china and muffled chatter did nothing to ease the stifling atmosphere of the room.

Her mother was having a one-sided conversation, oblivious to the fact that her daughter had stopped paying attention long ago, about an upcoming charity fundraiser. She was brought back to the table though when something kicked at her shin; Emily was sitting opposite her, an innocent smile adorning her face as looked at her mother, waiting for her to come up with an answer to the unheard question.

"Well Serena, what is it?" Lily's calm and controlled voice penetrated her mind again, and Serena looked at her mother confused; she couldn't admit she hadn't been listening so she needed to fake it.

"Yeah, that sounds great." She nodded enthusiastically, assuming the older blonde was still waffling on about the charity ball, for which Lily was chairing and Serena involved in. Emily giggled into her lemonade while Lily sighed, glaring at her daughter for her rudeness.

"The question was why was Daniel at your place?" Lily repeated, and Serena smiled sheepishly.

"He just wanted to talk." Before she told Lily the truth and potentially created unnecessary drama, she needed to think about it carefully and make a decision for herself.

"After seven years of silence?" Lily was instantly suspicious.

"We're both mature adults mother; it's not like we could avoid each other forever. We have Emily."

"I have you _and _Eric," She referred to Serena's younger brother who had been living in LA for the last couple of years. "I haven't spoken to your father in almost twenty years." The ex-ballerina pointed out, a smug expression crossing her face.

"Well I'm not you, am I mother?" Serena replied, stuffing her mouth with food so they wouldn't have to continue this conversation.

Serena took Emily and bolted from the afternoon tea, as soon as was deemed appropriate; heading straight to her best friend's apartment.

"S, what are you doing here?" The two blonde girls stepped out of the elevator into the foyer of the impressive Bass penthouse; almost instantly the younger girl dropped her mother's hand and raced off to find the two young Bass children.

Blair emerged from the formal living room where she had been taking a phone call to welcome her friend with a big hug.

"I need some advice." Serena let the smaller woman envelop her in the hug; Blair nodding understandingly as she led Serena towards the couches.

"I talked to Dan today." Serena started, speaking softly so she didn't alert the attention of her step-brother Chuck Bass, who was apparently in his study. Chuck and Dan had never once seen eye to eye and when given the opportunity constantly slandered the other.

"Dan? As in your ex-husband Dan?" Blair asked slowly, taking a sip of water that sat on the coffee table next to him. Serena shot her a _who else would I be talking about look_ glare before continuing.

"Brian Goldberg wants to turn _A Life to Love _into a movie."

It took several long, silent beats before Blair could speak again. "Well, that's an interesting idea."

"Should I agree?" Serena asked quietly. "I mean, he always followed me for my shows. The least I could do is let him do this…" She let her thoughts trail off, from the expression Blair was giving her, she knew her friend would be horrified if she let Dan do it just because he had gone with her to Europe a couple of time.

Serena didn't stay long at her step-brother's and best-friends place after that conversation. Chuck had emerged from his study to announce Dorota was taking seven year old Charles and three year old Madeline to the park, with a funny look in his eyes and Serena had disappeared quickly with Emily; letting them do whatever they wanted in peace.

Now that she was back in her own apartment, leaning against the back of the lounge chair; she stared at her mahogany bookcase. _A Life to Love _was coated in a thick blanket of dust; it hadn't been touched in the seven years following her divorce to its widely successful and popular author.

She pulled it off the shelf now, blowing the dust off it; staring at the cover art as she suppressed a sneeze, trying to work up enough courage to actually open the pages that had once been well turned.

_Dedicated to my Serena, the real Serena; without you this book would never have been. You are my everything and I can't wait to spend many more long years with you._

Serena's sapphire blue eyes slowly took in the dedication that was still inscribed in her mind, and would most probably remain their for the rest of her life. Sighing, she closed the book and positioned it again on the bookshelf.

She couldn't bring herself to read any more.

Dan had given up on any attempt to write something and was now settled into his couch, wearing only his old pair of track suit pants; his mind paying very little attention to what was actually playing on the wall mounted plasma screen in front of him.

Instead, he was thinking about tomorrow. Visiting his father and sister; both who stilled in Brooklyn, taking another attempt at this novel he was meant to be writing, and of course the decision Goldberg was waiting impatiently for.

"You should say yes to the movie." Serena had come to tuck her daughter in for the night, and without saying anything to her, Emily offered her opinion.

"Why's that?" Serena smiled. Emily still fantasized about her parents getting back together even though she didn't remember the time they had been a happy family; especially after the two marriages and two divorces that happened _after _Dan.

"Because, it's the story about how you and Daddy fell in love; it's a good story."

Serena smiled again, and nodded. She had made her decision as she'd walked towards her daughter's bedroom to say goodnight but it was still reassuring to hear Emily's opinion.

Bypassing the unfamiliar doorman with a small smile, Serena entered Dan's apartment lobby after dropping her daughter off at Constance Billards' gates Monday morning. She stepped into the waiting elevator and pressed the small, cool silver button that would take her to the top floor; hoping her ex-husband was home.

"Serena," The surprised voice that greeted her assured her Dan was indeed home, and she wouldn't have to make the dreaded journey twice. By the looks of him, he hadn't been expecting visitor's that morning. He was still in the track pants he had worn to bed the night before, the same pair he had been wearing for the last ten years; grasping at a large white mug, full of steaming hot coffee.

"Dan," Serena smiled hoping for a short truce. "I'm sorry for surprising you like this, I should have just called." There was tension in the room, the pair would have been more surprised if there wasn't.

Seven years was a long time, but not long enough for them to forget what they had said to each other.

"You should do the movie." She continued, wrapping her ivory coat around her tighter for security. "But I want control as well."

"Excuse me?" It was the first thing that came to the author's mind. She wanted to control the movie?

"That story wasn't just about you." Then Serena turned again and left without a single word.

_**Casey xXx**_

_**[Edited March 12 2010]**_


	4. Memories Come Flooding Back

The force that was Serena van der Woodsen left Dan's apartment as quickly as she'd arrived, and for a minute he was stunned; unable to move from the position she'd been standing in when she had unexpectedly entered his home.

Afterwards, he vaguely remembered moving towards his phone to call Brian Goldberg's office to inform him that he could officially start production on the movie. He also remembered telling him that Serena van der Woodsen wanted a degree of creative control on the project. Goldberg instantly agreed, the van der Woodsen name was not something any one wanted to mess with.

After all that, he also remembered getting dressed, getting ready to go across town to Brooklyn; where his father would be opening up his small art gallery slash café for the day.

"Dan." Rufus' voice rang out through the studio that had really picked up business in the last couple of years. Dan smiled briefly at his father, waving to show that he had heard him and took his usual seat in the adjacent café that his friend Vanessa had established when they were still in high school.

"What do I owe this pleasure?" The older man asked, making it through the crowd to join his son at the table.

"I talked to Serena yesterday, she showed up to my apartment today." He didn't know why he had to tell his father something like that, but he did. Rufus nodded patiently, knowing that his son wouldn't have made the trip to tell him just that piece of information. "They're making _A Life to Love _into a movie."

"That's…great news." Rufus congratulated his son slowly, studying the younger man's reaction. "Is it good news?"

Dan nodded, but it was hesitant and they both knew he was having trouble believing his own actions. "It means I have to spend a lot more time around Serena."

"You never know, it might be good for the two of you. It might be time to finally clear the air. You do have a daughter to consider, you can't keep avoiding each other forever." Dan wasn't sure if he agreed with his father, after all they'd done a great job of avoiding each other so far; but he knew that he had to at least try to clear the air with Serena, _even _if it was just for Emily's sake.

Rufus left Dan alone in the peace of his thoughts after that, eager to get back to all the potential buyers carefully inspecting the large canvases that covered the walls. Dan finished the espresso the waitress had brought over for them and left the gallery, pushing the heavy doors open into the bright sun.

His sister would be busy at work in her own studio, working on the designs for her newest line and she wouldn't appreciate a visit from her brother, no matter what the reason; and Dan knew that she would stop by that night, like she did nearly every night.

He didn't want to go back to his empty place either, where the only thing to keep him company was his hated laptop; instead, he let his feet take him through his childhood neighbourhood, without thinking about where he was going.

"_I feel like a duck." Serena complained as her husband helped her down on the wooden park bench that overlooked the children's playground. It was a Saturday morning, and they were using this park bench as a break point after spending brunch in the old Humphrey loft. _

"_Well, you don't look like a duck." Dan consoled, brushing some hair away from her face as he spoke. When Serena first found out she was pregnant he had quickly learnt to contradict any criticism she made about her appearance. If he didn't, her hormones would take over, and he'd spend the rest of the day apologising._

"_I just want this thing out of me." Her hands slowly massaged her swollen stomach. She was still two weeks away from her due date and her hormones were everywhere, more than usual. _

"_It will come when it's ready." Dan promised, "Then we'll have all those sleepless nights to look forward to." Where she would be wishing for these days back again, he thought. Serena rested her head on Dan's shoulder; right now those sleepless nights felt light years away._

Dan stood on the sidewalk that surrounded the park that hadn't been new when he was a kid; looking in at the children's play equipment that was in need of a fresh coat of paint and the benches crowded with adults watching their children.

He still came to this park sometimes, if he was in the neighbourhood and had Emily with him; and for the most of it he had managed to keep past memories attached to this place buried. He cursed the fact, that now Serena was back in his life and she appeared to be the key to unlocking these small moments of time.

For the second time in as many days, Serena stood in front of her wall length bookcase, staring at the spine for _A Life to Love._ Even though she hadn't read a single word from the book in seven years, she knew that if pressed she'd be able to recite most of the story verbatim from memory.

Those words, that she once treasured, were going to be made into a movie, most of her high school years would be immortalised on the big screen with someone else saying their words.

She had definitely entertained the thought of telling her ex-husband that she wouldn't allow the book to be turned into the movie; but in the end her sentimental side won out.

"Please, tell me this is a joke Serena." Serena had to tell Lily about the up-coming movie before she found out about it in the societal grapevine; the older woman's voice it's normal sea of calmness after Serena carefully outlined everything for her.

"Why would I joke about this mum?" The young blonde paced her living room, it was not something she would normally joke about.

"Because, that means you and Daniel will be in the same room; having to talk to each other. That isn't something you've managed to achieve so far."

It was a natural reflex that Serena had developed in the last decade when talking to her mother; she rolled her playful sapphire eyes. It was such an obvious statement, she was surprised her mother had even found the need to vocalise it.

"I'm well aware of that fact mother; I'll talk to you later." She had just realised the time, breathing a sigh of relief; she'd been saved by the bell.

**~G~G~**

"I heard the good news." Serena had made it to the communal entry gate for Constance Billard and St. Jude's ten minutes before the final siren rang. She looked up from inspecting her perfectly manicured and painted fingernails, to find one of her old friends Vanessa Abrams-Archibald leaning against the wall next to her.

"Dan called me." She clarified when a confused expression clouded the blonde's face; surely not everyone knew about the movie that had gone into production merely hours earlier. "So, you're fine with everything becoming a movie? I don't know if I'd want my relationship acted out for everybody to see."

"Everyone's read the book already," Serena explained her line of reasoning for the initial problem she'd had. "How much damage could a movie make?"

"As long as they don't completely eff up the script…"

The rest of their conversation was cut off as the loud siren sounded, and the massive doors opened allowing the wave of students to come down the stairs. It was the elementary school aged children that came into view first; the older classmen still hanging around their lockers and it wasn't long before Serena spotted Emily racing down the stairs.

Vanessa had already found her young son Benjamin, and she had taken off after him; the little boy already jumping around for his soccer practice.

"Did you talk to daddy today?" It was the first question that came out of Emily's mouth when she caught up to her mother; no _hello_ or anything.

"This is going to be so cool." Emily squealed after Serena promised her she had; she was excited about the idea of her parents talking to each for once, too young to remember anything besides joint custody and her parents going to considerable lengths to avoid each other.

While they walked back to their apartment building, the child let her imagination run away with her. She was imagining a world where her parents actually talked and got along with each other, and Serena didn't have the heart to tell her that it might not necessarily work out like that.

The older blonde, the more experienced and cynical one was imagining the tense conversations and petty little arguments which were more realistic, while they tried to maintain a happy façade for Emily's sake.

_**Casey xXx**_

**[Edited: 13 March 2010]**


	5. Just Those Things You Will Never Forget

"How was your day with Serena?" It was early Wednesday evening and Dan had been looking forward to returning to his luxurious home to peace and quiet; so as he stepped through the elevator doors and into the foyer, he hadn't expected to see his younger sister walking through from the living room where he could hear that she had just put on a CD, the beginning strains of music slowly starting, to the kitchen again where he could smell something cooking.

Despite the fact that twenty-seven year old Jenny Humphrey, who was making a name for herself in the fashion industry, had lived by herself in her own place back in Brooklyn for nearly six years now, she had been coming into Manhattan to Dan's place at least four times a week, sometimes every day, every week for the last seven years.

Dan grunted an incomprehensible response. He had just spent the entire day with his ex, who in the time they hadn't spoken to each other had changed to another woman completely – at least when she was around him.

"Do you have to play this crap?" Dan asked, following his sister into his state of the art kitchen, as the opening chords to the new album by rock band _45 _started.

"It's not crap." Jenny protested, stirring at something within the large pot on the stove. From the smell, and the small peek that Dan had managed he surmised that she was making their father's infamous chilli.

"It's Julian fucking Prospere." Dan hissed between clenched teeth. Julian Prospere, who was known more to his legion of screaming teenaged fans as Flow, was the lead singer for the band that was blasting through his speakers at the moment, and was also the man that Serena had married a year after their divorce.

Dan fixed his sister, and eventually Jenny got the message. Dan's home, Dan's rules; she moved away from the stove reluctantly and headed back into the living room to find another CD they would both be in agreement on.

"So, how was your day with Serena?" Jenny repeated the question as she came to sit next to her brother on the kitchen bar stools. "You spend a whole day with her, locked in a stuffy office, talking about when you two were in love…"

Jenny had always idolised Serena van der Woodsen; from the day that she had first saw her as a first grader at Constance Billard School for Girl when Serena was in the fourth grade. The two girls had developed a tight friendship later on in high school when Dan and Serena first started dating, and it had continued well after the Humphrey/van der Woodsen divorce, with Serena being one of Jenny's most famous clients.

Dan knew that his younger sister, like her niece, still daydreamt about Dan and Serena falling in love again. "It's not going to happen.' He said shortly, just like he had said to her on many occasions.

_The low guttural sound that came from the back of Serena's throat was so quiet that it was almost completely missed by the rest of the suited men and women in the pre-production meeting. _

_Dan looked up from where he had been mindlessly doodling on his almost blank sheet of paper to watch his ex run her manicured fingers through her long blonde hair, which she had left down for the meeting today._

"_Something wrong Serena?" He asked, interrupting the discussion on shooting locations that the rest of the group seemed to be involved in. _

_Serena glared at him and it took all the strength she had to not respond with some smart remark, and completely ruin any prospect of a profession relationship with him, which she had apparently promised Emily she would do._

"_Nothing's wrong Dan." She smiled back at him, with the sweet smile that was usually reserved for the other women on the number of Charity Boards she was on, and her mother's friends. Dan saw through it straight away._

_It was early afternoon, and they had been in the current meeting concerning shooting locations for a couple of hours already._

_Serena went back to picking at something invisible of her skirt; when she had told Dan the condition on her approval to this movie; that she be involved in the process she hadn't been talking about long, boring meetings. _

_And from the smart remarks and sly looks she had been getting from the brunette man opposite her, she had a growing feeling that Dan was well aware of that to, and that he was on a mission to annoy her as much as possible._

_Several more minutes ticked by slowly, and as the voices of those around her slowly disappeared from her mind all she could hear was the ticking of the wall clock. Eventually, she glanced up to see how much longer was required of her and breathed a sigh of relief, she was saved._

"_I'm so sorry Mr. Goldberg." Her van der Woodsen charm was back on as she politely interrupted the executive producer of the movie. "I have to go pick up my daughter."_

"_That's fine." He acknowledged her words, with only the briefest of glances her way. "Daniel here can fill you in on anything you miss."_

_Serena grabbed her handbag which had been sitting at her feet, "I'm sure he will." She muttered and the mischievous smile that emitted from his lips told her he probably would._

"Nichole called." Jenny's voice once again cut through his train of thought, as he recalled the day's meeting. His head shot up quickly at the mention of the name that Jenny shouldn't know about, that he had almost forgotten about.

"I almost forgot." She grabbed at the yellow post-it pad that was sitting next to his kitchen phone. "She wanted to let you know that she's back in the country, and that she wants to see you." Jenny glanced at her brother, the questioning look that only a younger sister could give, on her face.

"Who's Nichole and what happened to Maria?" Jenny asked with one raised eyebrow.

Dan shrugged his shoulders, he was not about to go into the details of his love life with his sister. It had been bad enough getting the sex talk from his father when he started dating Serena.

"Nichole is a friend. Maria and I ended." The tone of his voice suggested that there was going to be no more discussion on the topic, and Jenny knew her brother well enough to know when to not push it.

After the way things had ended with Serena, Dan had promised himself that he would never allow himself to fall into the sort of commitment with anyone ever again. So while Serena threw herself into two more failed marriages and a number of different 'flings', he avoided the marriages and kept to the flings; which he would point out he had the decency to keep away from his daughter

"How did you meeting go with daddy today?" Serena had escaped from the meeting to collect Emily from school and take her to her Tennis practice, and while Michael, Emily's coach, had kept her focused on her serving, Serena had managed to avoid the inevitable question. Once they were home from the tennis club though, and dinner had been served she could no longer avoid the question.

She took a large sip of her wine before answering her daughter, diplomatically. "It was a very boring meeting." At least it was truthful.

"But what about you and daddy?" Emily repeated. She didn't care about the details of the meeting; what she cared about was her parents spending time in the same room with each other, talking to each other, both of which were a foreign concept to the nine year old.

Serena had to take a longer pause, and another sip of wine before she could answer again. "Your father and I didn't get a chance to talk today; we had to pay attention to the meeting." Well, he had to pay attention to the meeting.

It was obvious that Emily wasn't happy with this answer, she had been picturing something close to Jenny's romantic image but she had to accept it and hope that sometime in the very near future that image would become a reality.

The movie was dropped from conversation for the rest of dinner, and while they ate their meal Serena listened as Emily went on about her day at school. From what Serena could gather from Emily's high speed conversation, her daughter was attracted to one of they boy's in her brother class. She didn't recognise the family name and she made a mental note to discreetly ask around later.

There were times when having the social connections she had weren't all that bad.

She hadn't made it past the dedication of _A Life to Love _since the day Dan had arrive to inform her of the decision to make the movie. Now that Emily was in bed though, and she was lying on the couch with a second glass of wine in her hand she decided to have another go at it.

She couldn't understand why she hadn't been able to read it since her divorce. She could still listen to the song Julian wrote about her whenever it appeared on the radio, she could still look at the photos that Aaron, an old photographer boyfriend who lasted for only a couple of months, had taken of her but she hadn't been able to read this story.

Opening it up to the first chapter, skipping straight past the dedication she began to read.

_It was evident from the second that I arrive that I shouldn't be here, these weren't my friends; they weren't the people that talked to me, or even acknowledged me when we were at school. _

_From the second that I walked through the door though, alcohol was pushed my way and even though nobody pushed me out and told me I wasn't welcome, nobody bothered to talk to me either._

_I had seen her before tonight, she went to my sister school; everybody knew who she was. Tonight, away from the constraints of a conservative school uniform she looked more like a goddess than ever. It didn't matter that the glass bottle of liquor she was holding was most definitely not her first for the evening, and far from being her last, she looked free._

"_Hey." I looked around to try and find the person she was talking to, and who was rude enough to not reply. There was no one else. Apparently she was talking to me._

"_Do you know where Blair went?" I pointed in the direction where I had just seen her best friend stalk off, pissed about something and she moved in that direction; attracting the glances of all the males in her immediate vicinity._

_Nobody else talked to me that night, I left only twenty minutes later._

_But one thing was for sure. I fell in love with Serena van der Woodsen that night._

The prologue was short, and Serena's own memories from that night were hazy; Dan had only hinted at it in the prologue but she had been completely wasted when she talked to him. She closed her navy blue eyes, and let her head sink into her soft pillow, before a quiet stream of tears coursed down her face.

How did she let her life turn into this? She had sworn to her mother as a teenager that she wouldn't become her. When she married Dan she pictured them together until their last days. What had happened to that?

_Dan and Serena were sitting on the floor of the light pink nursery room, that as of that morning completely, one hundred percent ready for the birth of their first daughter who was due in only one week._

"_Are you ready for this?" Dan asked caressing Serena's hand. "Another life, completely dependent on us?"_

_Serena looked terrified; for the majority of her life she had an absentee father, a mother who flitted in and out of her life as she pleased, and a string of step-fathers that she had lost track of by the time she reached seven._

_Dan was no better, his mother had disappeared after having an affair with their next door neighbour._

"_Promise me." Serena tried to conceal the terror that was slowly engulfing her mind. "That I never turn out like my mother."_

_Dan laughed, and leaned in for a tender reassuring kiss. "I will never let you turn into Lily. I know you'll do anything for this little girl." As he kept kissing her, he moved his hands to her swollen, rounded stomach which she thought resembled a very large beach ball. "We will always be there for our little girl."_

**Casey**

**[Edited: 30 April 2010]**


	6. Maybe It's Time To Move On

There was a constant buzz of whispering, a low hum of sound, that always echoes through the halls of Constance Billard, where gossip and rumours were always forming and spreading, factious or not, even without the help of the infamous Gossip Girl that had reigned through a previous generation.

The latest news to spread like wildfire through the historic halls of the school and the courtyard was that the filming of a movie was to take place in its halls; thanks to the celebrity behind two of the people involved in the production.

Serena van der Woodsen during her time at the elusive private school for the offspring of the dirty rich, famous and infamous had become a living legend; with the kind of exploits that made urban legends.

It was now the young blonde daughter of the model and best selling author Dan Humphrey that sat in her third grade class room, her sapphire blue eyes trained on her English workbook in front of her.

She could hear the rest of her classmates whispering, the audition for _A Life to Love _had started that morning, and some big names were auditioning for the roles of Serena and Dan; they were wondering who exactly would be invading their school in the coming months.

"Do you know anything?" One of the girls in her class, Celia, broke through Emily's train of thought with the question that had been directed towards her.

"Not really." Emily spoke quietly, unlike her usual person since she didn't really want to be discussing the technical sides to the movie.

"You have to know something." Katherine, Celia's best friend spoke up. "I mean, your parents have to tell you something."

"Not really." Emily repeated. "Nobody knows much yet."

Celia, Katherine and a couple of other girls grumbled at the vague and unhelpful answers that Emily Humphrey was providing, before they went back to speculating; which was much more interesting.

Before Emily looked back down at her workbook, with over half the assigned work completed, she glanced towards the clock that hung high above the chalkboard. 2.48; only twelve more minutes left before her weekend freedom.

The familiar sound of the bell rang through the classroom after what felt like an eternity, echoing into the deserted hallways; releasing the students from academic rigor for the weekend.

Bolting from the classroom as soon as was permitted, grabbing her backpack as she flew out, Emily almost sped down the steps towards the iron wrought gates. All she wanted was to start her weekend with her dad.

She reached the bottom step and instantly froze; she couldn't see her dad. There was no mom. There was no Grandma Lily. She looked around, confused for a second, trying to figure out if her parents had forgotten about their only child.

"Emily, honey." It was her Aunt Vanessa; standing at the gated entrance with her eight year old son Ben waiting impatiently next to her. "Your parents are tied up with meeting and auditions; so you're coming home with and Ben until your dad can come get you, okay?"

_Well, I'm sorry I'm not who you thought I was. But what's happened is in the past. All that I can do is try to change. But if you can't accept that…then you're not who I thought you were. Well, I guess we both make mistakes._

"Can we please finish this up sometime soon?" Dan grumbled glancing at his watch after the tenth generic young, blonde model wannabee actress left the room after she stumbled clumsily through her lines.

He had made the call to one of his oldest friends, Vanessa, begging her to Emily home with her because he was stuck, and he wanted to be able to get his daughter as soon as possible. He only got to see her every fortnight, and he didn't want to spend that time stuck in here.

"We're almost here." Brian Goldberg sighed, flipping through the remaining headshots and CVs; they were all tired, they had all been stuck in this stuffy room since early that morning. They all wanted to go home. "But we still have to decide who to call back."

"That's if we find anyone who's even remotely good enough." Serena grumbled, running her manicured fingers through her blonde hair, the movement was her stress release. "These women can not act."

"I'm sorry I'm not who you were expecting. What's happened is in the past, and I'm trying to change. If you can't accept that, you're not the person I thought you were. I guess we both made mistakes."

The next person to enter the room, the eleventh blonde, stood in the middle of the room, surprising everybody as she was the first to recite her lines from memory, tweaking them slightly so they fit her.

Serena noticed from the corner of her eye that Dan had leant forward in his chair, all of his focus on this girl.

_She's good,_ Dan thought to himself. _She's…more than good._

"I need to know why you love me." When nobody stopped the girl, she launched into the second paragraph that had been selected for the audition process.

"I _really _want to believe you when you say those words. I want to trust you Dan. So maybe if I knew why, I'd stop being so afraid of hearing them and saying them."

Stopping, the blonde looked between the five people sitting behind the long wooden desk, a small smile forming across her lips as she studied their reactions.

"Ah…thank you Miss Burke." Goldberg said eventually, after regaining himself. "Someone will be in contact with you shortly."

The young twenty two year old smiled again, and left the room without another word.

"She was great, let's hire her now. I don't need to see anybody else." Dan hit both palms against the table, pushing himself into a standing position ready to make a fast escape.

"We have to at least let the other girls audition. There may be someone even better." One of the casting directors interrupted Dan's joyous moment and brought the author crashing back down to reality as he sat back down again.

Dan took the steps two at time that led up to Archibald townhouse, the sun had long set across the Manhattan skyline and the streets were glowing under the bright lighting of the street lights.

"Daddy." As he followed Vanessa into the house, Emily came bolting out of the entertainment room where he could hear a movie blasting from the surround sound system that Nate had installed a couple of months before.

"Thanks for taking her Vanessa." Dan smiled as Emily went racing for her backpack. "It was just impossible to escape."

"Anytime." Vanessa smiled at the first friend she had made when she moved to New York City. "You know that Ben loves playing with her."

"Come on Miss Em." Dan wrapped an arm around his daughter. "How does Chinese sound for dinner?" He was going to make up for the afternoon he had missed with her.

Father and daughter were snuggling on the couch, watching Emily's favourite _Finding Nemo_ with empty Chinese takeout boxes littered across the coffee table. "Come on Em, it's time to go to bed." He said reluctantly.

"It's only nine o'clock." The miniature Serena protested, she wasn't tired yet. "And it's the weekend daddy; the movie isn't even over yet."

"Bur you have a tennis game tomorrow. You know you do, and your mother and grandmother would gladly kill me if I let you show up on the court still half asleep."

Emily grumbled, but she stood up to go get ready for bed anyway; even she knew that no one wanted to go against Grandma Lily's wishes.

"_Don't walk away from me!" Serena Humphrey yelled at the retreating back of her husband. "You can't say that about me and then disappear."_

"_I can't talk to you when you're like this." Dan pivoted half way up the stairs of his penthouse home to gestures at his wife, speaking no quieter than she was. Their neighbours were either enjoying the show or getting ready to call for backup. "This is not the woman I married."_

"_You have always known who I am." Serena was following him up the stairs now, this conversation wasn't over and she wasn't about to drop it. "You knew what my life was when you met me, and you told me it didn't matter."_

"_Well, it does now."_

**Casey xXx**

**[Edited: 30 April 2010]**


	7. A Night To Remember

_The usually quiet, familial penthouse had exploded that night with the furious voices of the couple that lived there; their argument heard by those living on the floor below them who were either enjoying the show or calling for backup._

"_Don't walk away from me!" Serena Humphrey yelled, standing in the middle of the living room, glaring at the retreating back of her husband of two years. "You can't say that about me and then disappear."_

"_I can't talk to you when you're like this." Dan stopped dead in his tracks, halfway up the stairs of their penthouse home, pivoting to match the glare on his wife's face._

"_This is not the woman I married." He thrust his hands out to point at her, speaking no quieter than she was despite their two year old daughter who was in her nursery, where it was unlikely she was still sleeping._

"_You have always known who I am, what my world was like." Serena was storming up the steps after him now. "You knew what my life was when you first met me, and you told me it didn't matter."_

"_Well, it does now."_

Dan Humphrey's penthouse home was dark and silent despite the time being only eight o'clock in the evening. Since Emily had arrived to whisk Emily back to her mother's, the author had retired to his study to attempt to work on the novel that he was _meant_ to be writing.

The only light that was coming from his 5th Avenue home was from the faint glow of his Mac Book as the blank white document that filled the screen mocked him and his inability to write anything.

What made it worse was that he knew what the problem was. _A Life to Love_ had come from the time he had fallen in love with the wild woman that was Serena van der Woodsen. His two following best sellers had come during a time when he had been in – lust, at least – with a number of woman.

Right now, there was no one in his life that was inspiring him to write.

Sighing dejectedly, he saved the blank document, and shut down the computer; he would have to find something else to do until inspiration found him again.

After the room was thrown into complete darkness, the young author turned his desk lamp on, casting a brighter light through the room than before. He leant back in his comfortable chair and let his eyes skim the titled of the novels that filled the tall Jarrah book shelf.

Beside his three books, the books that had made his name synonymous with that of Nicholas Sparks, there were the book by authors he idolised. Dan Brown, James Patterson, George Orwell…

Maybe that was his problem, he thought as he stared at the book spines; maybe he was letting his previous words define who he was as an author. He was known for writing novels that were classified in the 'Chick Lit' section, maybe he needed to branch out into different genres.

He wasn't sure if he could pull of that feat or not, but before he went crazy deliberating on his next career move he decided that he needed to get away from the computer for the night, before he lost his sanity. Being in the same building as the offending piece of technology wasn't doing him any good.

If Charles 'Chuck' Bass knew that his step-sister's ex-husband had taken a seat in Victrola, the first club he ever opened, back when they were still in school, he would have security there to eject him before he could even blink.

Luckily for Dan though, nobody paid any attention to him in the crowded and popular bar. He ordered a beer from the bar tender, nursing it while he watched the women up on the stage dancing, enticing and teasing the men in the audience with their slow movements.

"Fancy running into you here." Dan was completely transfixed by the women that were still up on the stage when someone greeted him from behind.

He hadn't seen her for a month, the last time she had come in to audition for the role of Serena.

"Olivia." The woman who was his favourite to take out the role of his teenage sweetheart slid into the recently vacated seat next to him, ordering her own drink. "What are you doing here?"

The younger woman shrugged, pausing to thank the bar tender as her drink arrived. "I thought this place sounded interesting, you mentioned it a couple of times in the book; so I thought I'd check the place out. You know, in case I get the role."

Her flirtatious, confident smile suggested that she knew that she was likely to win the highly talked about role. Dan nodded and laughed, swivelling around in his barstool to focus on the woman.

He might get his writing inspiration back tonight after all.

He and Olivia didn't stay long at Victrola after that, they couldn't now that he was with the "It" actress of the moment. They were more likely to be recognised together and more likely to come to the Bass' attention.

So after the two drink had been polished off, Dan grabbed Olivia's hand brazenly, leading her out into the Manhattan night. He had already made the promise to himseld that tonight was for having fun, and now that he had a beautiful girl with him a whole lot more opportunities had arisen.

The music of the night club and the sweaty bodies of twenty-something's as they gyrated to the music on the crowded dance floor of the latest club to open up in Manhattan was rushing straight to Dan's head, along with the alcohol that had been free flowing all night.

It had been months since he'd gone out like this, it had been months since Dan had had someone to go out with; spending nearly every day with his ex, like he'd been doing with Serena, had ruined any chances.

He smiled down at Olivia as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her hips gyrating to the rhythm of the music as she pulled him back into hit; he leaned forward to whisper in her ear, and she nodded enthusiastically, just making out the words amongst the noise in the dark room, extracting her arms from his neck again to lead him off the dance floor.

"Tonight doesn't have to end just yet." After Dan had suggested to Olivia that they find somewhere else besides the club, somewhere quieter, they had ended up walking hand in hand through Central Park; a chance encounter quickly escalating into a full-on date.

Olivia smiled suggestively at Dan as she peered over the top of the tall take-away cup that held the Vanilla milkshake she'd stopped at a park vendor for.

"My apartment's just across the street." Dan understood exactly what Olivia was leading to.

The sound of a cell phone ringtone woke Dan up early the next morning, confusing him momentarily as he tried to get a grip on his bearing while it felt like a jack hammer was being used on his head, evidence of the hangover that had been inflicted on him after his activities from that night.

It took him a minute to realise that the ringtone didn't belong to his phone, but to that of the blonde girl asleep next to him, wrapped up in his sheets. Olivia stirred, and picked up her phone without opening her eyes or looking at the caller ID. Her eyes widened as she realised where she was while the person on the other end of the line spoke to her.

"Mr Goldberg." Olivia's mouth formed a perfect 'O' shape as she turned to face Dan, ready to relay the message that the movie producer was about to announce. "No, you didn't wake me up." She lied.

"That's great." Her eyes brightened like a child on Christmas day who had just found the waiting presents that Santa had left at the bottom of a Christmas tree. "Of course."

She hung up the phone, and turned to smile at Dan. "I got the part." She squealed like a small child, throwing herself onto Dan again, who pulled her back down into the pillow, rolling on top of her as he gave her another passionate kiss.

**Casey xXx**

**[Edited: 30 April 2010]**


	8. A Child's Shattered Dream, Part I

**I promise to all my readers out there, that one day this story will be complete :D**

Dan stood bare foot, dressed only in a plain black pair of boxers, in his kitchen waiting for the coffee machine to start up for the morning; two large cups waiting next to the brand new piece of technology.

Even though he couldn't see the living room from where he was standing in the kitchen, he could hear Olivia moving around, wearing a fluffy white robe that Dan kept in the guest room; picking up photo frames and playing around with the radio.

"You have a beautiful daughter." Olivia's voice surprised him as she suddenly appeared in the kitchen, hoisting herself up onto the black cushioned bar stool. "She looks a lot like her mother."

"She has her mother's temper as well, but she's the sweetest girl." Dan laughed, filling the waiting cups up with the welcome caffeinated drink.

"We need…" Olivia had just opened her mouth to talk to Dan about what had happened the night before, and what was going to happen now, when Dan's cell phone rang.

"I'm sorry." Dan mouthed when his ex-wife's name appeared on the screen. "This might be an emergency. I'll be right back."

Dan disappeared into his bedroom for privacy, barely holding the phone to his ear when Serena started shouting down the line.

"Daniel Humphrey!" The first sign of trouble, Serena had referred to him as Daniel. The only other time Serena had called him that was while they were getting their divorce. "What the hell do you think you're playing at?"

"What?" He didn't have the patience to exchange pleasantries with Serena, or play her games, or even pretend to know what she was talking about, not when he had a beautiful blonde waiting for him in his kitchen.

"You're everywhere this morning Dan." The voice continued to scream at him through the small speaker. "You're on every morning radio and TV show. You're all over the freaking internet."

"What are you going on about Serena?" He looked up and found Olivia standing in the bedroom doorway, obviously coming to see if he needed any support. Upon hearing the other woman's name though she froze, turning slowly to make a quick getaway out of the apartment.

With one hand Dan reached and stopped her from moving. "I'm not playing your games today." He was not going to lose Olivia because of Serena's temper.

"You and _Olivia," _Serena spat the name out, unconsciously revealing that she wasn't used to seeing her ex-husband with other women, even after seven years. "You're a freaking hypocrite Dan. You two were photographed everywhere last night, including your apartment lobby. At least I have some _discretion_."

Dan raced to his study where his laptop was still waiting patiently to be started up for the day. While he waited for the internet browser to load, all he heard on the other phone was silence.

Typing 'Olivia Burke and Dan Humphrey' into the _Google _search browser, he clicked on the first link that came up; and was redirected to _TMZ_.

Then there it was, amidst the posts of stars' infidelity and offspring was a photo taken late at night, clearly by an amateur photographer, as Olivia and Dan stood cuddled up to each other in the lobby of his apartment building, waiting for an elevator to take them up to Dan's.

He read the attached article quickly; anxious to know what had been said.

**HOT NEW HOOK UP**

_Following this morning's new of Burke's new lead role in '_A Life To Love', _photos have been released of the actress and author Dan Humphrey all over town together last night; ending up at his apartment building well after midnight._

_We doubt this new relationship will last, shooting a movie with ex-wife Serena van der Woodsen, would prove difficult for anyone._

It wasn't until he heard a despondent moan behind him, that he realised Olivia had joined him in the study reading over his shoulder.

"I've got to go." He dismissed Serena quickly, disconnecting the call before he had a chance to respond.

"It could have been worse." Olivia tried to think of a positive in the sudden exposure of last night's date. Having been subject to every gossip blog on the internet before, she knew they had gotten off lightly, this time.

**~G~G~**

Emily couldn't escape the whispers of her classmates, no matter how hard she tried; in the school's courtyard during breaks, in her English class, in her French class, in her drama class.

Dan Humphrey and Serena van der Woodsen had been on the lips of every single girl within Constance Billard, but now that the name Olivia Burke had been thrown into the middle of it things were beginning to explode.

By the time lunch break had arrived, the angelic blonde nine year old was close to tears. Racing from her drama class to the front office; she begged the matronly secretary to call her parents, she felt in the sick in the stomach and she wanted someone to pick her up.

Serena's housekeeper informed the steel grey haired woman that Ms. Van der Woodsen was spending the day in charity board meetings along with her mother, while neither Mr. Humphrey's cell or land lines were being answered.

"Please," Begged the sobbing child, "Call someone."

The woman looked through the list of emergency contact numbers for Emily Humphrey before calling Blair Waldorf-Bass; who luckily picked up, home for the day with her three year old daughter Madeline.

"Mrs. Bass, your niece Emily is here in the front office at Constance. She's quite upset and complaining of an upset stomach. Her parents are currently unreachable. She's hoping that you can come and pick her up."

"I'll be right there." The brunette socialite lawyer didn't hesitate in the woman's request. She had a feeling what was bothering Emily; she hadn't been able to hide from the news all morning.

"Emily, sweetheart, everything will be okay." Blair stroked the blonde girl's hair while the chauffeur driven limo slowly made its way back to the Bass Penthouse on 5th Avenue.

"Da…Dadd…Daddy isn't meant to get another girlfriend." Emily sobbed into her Aunt's lap. "I don't want daddy to have another girlfriend."

"Sometimes these things happen." Blair soothed. "When we get home, Dorota's going to make sushi for lunch. How does that sound?" The little girl had loved sushi since she was five years old, and stubborn enough to demand what her mum and aunt ate for lunch nearly everyday.

Emily sniffed, still not completely convinced that everything was going to be okay.

While Emily continued to lie in Blair's lap; the older woman whipped out her cell phone, discreetly texting her closest friend.

_-S,_

_E's upset about D and O. My place ASAP_

_-B_

"I'm going to kill that mo…" Chuck Bass had escaped from his office and the endless stream of meetings early to surprise his wife, only to discover Emily in the living room, quietly watching _Breakfast at Tiffany's_; something Blair had always used to calm herself down, cuddled up into her Aunt.

"Charles Bass." Blair exclaimed loudly, stopping him from cursing in front of the child. "Language." It was enough to get the man to stop; the fiery glare coming from his wife's chocolate brown eyes enough to scare anyone.

_Call your daughter – she's at Blair's_

Serena text Dan on her way to the Bass's, she was not going to be the one to explain to this little sweet, innocent, naïve girl what was going on in her father's love life.

_She's upset_

Dan stared at the little black text on his phone screen, the first break he had taken since he'd started writing at his computer since Olivia had left late morning. Knowing if he didn't talk to Emily immediately, more damaged would be caused he dialled the Bass number.

"Bass residence. This is Dorota." The Polish housekeeper's clipped Polish accent greeted him through the phone; at least he didn't have to talk to a Bass.

"Can I talk to Emily, Dorota?" He tried to keep his tone polite.

"Mr. Dan." Dorota spoke, hushed; but both Chuck and Blair heard her, he could hear the arguing in the background. Before anyone could stop father and daughter talking though Emily had grabbed the phone from Dorota's hands.

"Emily, baby, I'm sorry you had to find out this way." He apologised the second he heard her ragged breathing.

"You can't go out with Olivia."

Now, Dan was used to giving Emily nearly anything she wanted; Emily was used to getting nearly anything she wanted; but Dan wasn't going to let a nine year old dictate who and who he couldn't date.

"Why not Em? Olivia's a nice girl."

"Because you were meant to get back together with mummy."

**Huh- haven't been able to write anything on this story for three months, and then voila. Hopefully it sticks. Can't promise anything though. **

**And thank you to Sarah (anon) who reminded me on another GG story to update this one. Don't forget to review!**

**Casey xXx**


	9. A Child's Shattered Dream, Part II

**A/N: I have no affiliation with the characters mentioned, that belong to the CW, Josh Schwartz and Cecily von Ziegesar; or any actor, living, that appears in this chapter. This is written for your amusement and mine ;D **

Noisy sobs racked the small body of Emily Humphrey, shaking her body as she clung to the white phone receiver tightly, as if it was a lifeline. The sinking realisation that her father was dating someone that was her not mother ruining the fantasy she had dreamt up where this movie on their teenaged love would bring them back together and give their family a _happily ever after _ending.

Her elder mother, not yet out of her youthful twenties, entered the professionally decorated penthouse, often featured on the cover of architecture and design magazines, that her step-brother and her best friend called home, just in time to catch the end of her daughter's emotional plea to her father, admitting that she had never recovered from a split that had happened when she'd been too young to properly remember.

"Emily, baby." The international fashion model was panicked as she watched her only child become engulfed in tears; crossing the marbled foyer in a matter of only a couple of strides, wrapping her daughter up in a tight hug.

Freshly manicured fingers ran through the nine year old's natural strawberry blonde hair, a soothing mechanism that had worked since her toddler years. Serena allowed Emily to continue sobbing down the phone, and she could hear the worried voice of her ex-husband on the other line.

"Em, Emily. Emily." She could hear Dan's voice distantly through the line, he sounded concerned about his daughter. Her reaction had completely blindsided him. While he knew that the young girl was sure to be upset, the noise that was coming out from her was unexpected.

"It doesn't work that way sweetheart." Serena soothed while Dan continued to call out their daughter's name. The elder blonde continued to rock Emily back and forth until the noise had subsided and the shaking had slowed.

Prying the phone from tightly clenched fingers, Serena informed Dan that Emily would call him back once she had calmed down and they were back in their own home. This type of drama didn't need to be carried on in the foyer of the Bass home.

Thankful that Chuck and Blair, or at least Dorota, had enough sense to herd the household upstairs, out of ear reach of the van der Woodsen women Serena leant against the ivory painted wall, pulling Emily in for a hug.

"I don't want…_hiccup_…daddy to date Olivia." Emily looked straight up at her mother, her eyes red and her face blotchy; appearing much younger than her mere nine years despite the sudden loss of naivety.

"You know," Serena spoke softly, trying to find the words that weren't going to completely ruin her daughter's spirit in one day. "Your father and I, we aren't going to get back together. We've only just started _talking_ after seven years. What makes you think we're going to get back together now, sweetheart."

"Because," Emily hiccupped again, still calming herself down. "That's how it's meant to be."

Serena wasn't about to argue the logic of a nine year old, especially when her daughter had inherited her incredible stubbornness. She just shook her head and remained silent, closing her eyes to think about everything; they could talk about this later.

"I'm going to take you home Em. You can call your dad back from there; he doesn't want to see you upset." Emily climbed off Serena's lap and the twenty nine year old woman pushed herself off the floor. She called a goodbye out to Blair and Chuck, with a promise of a night out soon to the former, as a thank you for collecting Emily from school.

Emily had talked to her father when they got back to the van der Woodsen penthouse, listening quietly while he explained to her that someday he was going to find someone that he liked, that he wanted to spend more time with; that he had found that someone in Olivia.

She had listened quietly, her face stoic as she hid all emotions that she felt towards her father and to Olivia, a girl she had never met before but already disliked. She had accepted that her father was dating Olivia, even if she didn't like it.

By the time that Goldberg, the exec producer of the movie that was fast becoming a constant migraine to the subject, called another production meeting she was reluctant to go. She didn't want to sit in the office next to her ex-husband anymore; she didn't want to listen to every part of a story that was sounding more and more like the story of someone else, someone she had never met before.

She was only sitting in the black chair under the promise that a male lead had finally been cast.

"We need to talk." Dan entered the office only minutes before Goldberg did, whispering to her as he slid into the vacant seat next to her.

"We don't need to talk about anything." Serena whispered back truthfully. She didn't care if her ex-husband was sleeping with the new girl or not. It was their daughter that was struggling with the difficult truth of it. She was the one going to school every day, facing the scrutiny of her classmates over the fact that her dad's new girlfriend was the hottest actress in America at the moment.

"Max Minghella." Goldberg burst through the room with a renowned sense of energy now that the male lead had been cast, at least a month after opening the casting call. He had a bunch of papers in his hand that he began handing out to everyone, on it was essential information on their new lead and a head shot.

Serena could see the resemblance between this man and a teenaged Dan.

"He's new, he's fresh. He's perfect." He announced joyfully.

"What was he in last?" One of the other people involved in the movie asked, trying to place the face that he'd seen on screen before.

"A movie on _Lifetime_." Goldberg dismissed it, it wasn't essential information. The important thing was that they had their male lead; they had their female lead. This movie was actually going somewhere.

"This is good news." Goldberg continued, "The script's finished. This means that shooting can finally begin."

And Serena can watch Olivia and this Max act out the romance that once was between her and Dan. She only hoped that Emily could survive the next couple of months. The young girl had been looking forward to the 'story' side of the movie, but now she wanted to ignore the whole project's existence completely.

Serena excused herself the second it became appropriate, claiming other responsibilities as the reason why she couldn't stay around to talk more movie.

Dan watched Serena slip out of the office, shaking thoughts out of his head as he noticed how the denim jeans she was wearing clung to her like second skin, how the blouse she had slipped on that morning complemented her tanned skin perfectly.

He closed his eyes and pictured Olivia, Olivia smiling up at him from where she lay on his bed, wrapped up in his sheets. He thought of how she looked the first night they had together, dancing against each other in the loud and crowded club.

He shouldn't be this confused. He knew that. But it didn't stop him.

_**A short update, but I'm working my way back into the writing and I swear something is going to happen really soon. **_

_**I'm considering keeping the Derena divorce reason a secret, it might be better if you come to your own conclusions. Your imaginations are probably a lot more vivid than mine.**_

_**Can anyone name the **_**Lifetime **_**movie that **_**Max Minghella **_**was in? If you can answer correctly, I'll give you a sneak peek of the next chapter. An incentive for me to write if there ever was one! I hate to disappoint my loyal readers =D**_

_**Reviews, as always are love.**_

_**Casey xXx**_


	10. And So It Begins

_Staring down the makeshift aisle in the Central Park Boathouse, decorated by the red roses that clung to the end of every row of pure white chairs, twenty year old Dan waited patiently for his bride to arrive._

_The small group of guests, dressed in designer gowns and suits, growing restless with each passing minute as they sipped on their flutes of complimentary champagne that was flowing freely, had been seated for the past twenty minutes, and nervously the young author watched as sole bridesmaid slash maid of honour Blair Waldorf rushed in and out of the closely guarded room, the soft beige silk material of her dress bunched in her hand so she couldn't trip on the material._

_Young Eric was standing next to him, acting the role of Best Man, dressed in an almost identical suit to the waiting groom. He patted Dan's shoulder reassuringly as his weight shifted from one leg to the other. "She'll be out soon." He promised. "You know how she is."_

_Then, as if it was designed that way, the slow iconic chords of the traditional bridal march started and everybody's heads turned as one to watch his white clad, blonde angel appear from the back of the idyllic wedding venue. Accompanied by no one except for Blair, several steps ahead of her, she glided down the aisle with ease, her infectious smile brushing past the small group of family and friends as she made her way towards him…_

Dan jolted himself awake, shaking himself from the unexpected dream that he had fallen into; guilt-ridden and shocked that he dreamt about his long past wedding day.

Rolling over in bed, through sleep glazed eyes he glanced up at the glowing alarm clock to find with dismay that it was only quart to six in the morning; there was no logical reason for him to wake at this time, but he would find it near impossible to fall asleep again.

The other side of his massive bed was empty. Olivia might have spent every night warming the space next to him in his bed since their fast-pace relationship started the week before, but she had meetings that had ran late into the night and messaged him close to midnight, just as his head was hitting the pillow, to inform him that she would be crashing in her own apartment that night, since she lived closer to the offices.

That was fine with him, he thought as he reluctantly crawled out of bed; his best work came when he was away from any distractions. He shuffled into the kitchen to pour himself a fresh cup of steaming coffee before shuffling on to his office; hoping that his recent run of literary inspiration would continue today.

"Dan?" The words had flowed freely from the embattled author all day, and without being consciously aware of it, he had spent all day typing away at his laptop; pounding down on the small black keys with an incredible force and speed.

He was pulled away from the fictional land that he was fast creating for the protagonists for his story when his name was called out from the front of his large home; a voice that sounded honey sweet and joyful, like she didn't have a worry in the world.

"I'm coming, hold on a second." He called back, pressing at several keys to first save the fast-filling document where he'd been mapping out the technicalities of the story and second to close it from any spying eyes.

"I've got so much to tell you." He had barely made it down the stairs when two tanned arms flung around his neck and a chaste kiss was placed on his cheek, leaving a faint shine from the clear, sparkly lip gloss she'd been wearing.

Dan pulled away and smiled at his girlfriend of a mere week. Olivia Burke, seven years his junior and the lucky actress to have claimed the role of _Serena V_, in the movie that he'd originally penned.

"I met Max today." She squealed without prompting, pulling away from Dan to move into the kitchen and the vintage bar stools that lined the counter. "We read through the script."

She brandished the thick document, that Dan had only read through once, from inside her black designer laptop bag that had been slung over her shoulder. Every night since she'd officially won the role, she had spent half the night slowly reading through the script, asking Dan questions and making notes every so often.

Searching through the liquor cabinet that was kept under lock and key, he emerged with a bottle of familiar brown liquid and two tumbler glasses, pouring a drink for the both of them.

Olivia's enthusiasm was endearing and after seven years of dramatic relationships and flings that were better described as _friends with benefits _he had finally found someone that he could be himself around.

"So, what did you do today?" Olivia suddenly stopped talking about her most recent meeting with the _movie Dan_ and the production crew to talk about the shooting that was to begin in the next couple of weeks, and looked up.

Dan shrugged, playing down the fact that he'd spent another whole day working; that he had only stopped because she had walked in and called out to him. He felt positive about the story and the characters that he'd created so far, and he didn't want to risk jinxing his current run of inspiration by talking about it.

"Have you had a chance to talk to Emily again?" Olivia asked gently, as Dan downed the tumbler of Whiskey he'd poured for himself, passing Olivia hers. It had been a week since Emily had broken down over the phone, distraught at the news that he and Olivia were actually together.

Tomorrow night, Friday night, was the beginning of a '_Dad weekend_', and he had no idea if his little girl was coming or not.

Dan shook his head, obviously not used to the fact that Emily and he were fighting with each other. Emily had been his whole life for so long, and it was slowly cutting him up inside when he knew that he was the reason behind her tears.

"She'll come around." Olivia smiled, pushing the script away and rubbing her soft hand up and down his arm, thinking of the little girl she had so far only seen in the photos that decorated Dan's place. "She's your daughter and she loves you."

Dan nodded, sitting down on the bar stool next to his lover, picking her soft hand up in his and kissing the back of her palm softly. Her understanding and compassion, even with something as sensitive as Emily was one of the many beautiful things about her.

**G~G**

Out of the many traits that Serena had passed on to her daughter; the perfectly straight honey blonde hair, the sparkling blue eyes and flawless complexion, the stubbornness, it was important to not discount the fact that the nine year old could hold a grudge just as long, and just as viciously, as her mother.

"Are you going to your dad's tonight or not?" Serena asked with her iPhone in her hand. She didn't have a problem with her ex-husband and his barely legal girlfriend; she had no reason to care. She had spent the last week tirelessly explaining to Emily that her father was allowed to date who he wanted, that he still loved Emily; that he still wanted to see Emily.

"Will _she _be there?" Emily asked with a sneer on her small, pink lips and a tone of contempt in her voice. Serena sighed; they were battling an uphill battled, one that was near impossible to win.

"Possibly," Serena answered as truthfully as possible. She wasn't about to flat out lie and have her daughter hate her too if Olivia was there. "I'm sure your dad would love you to meet her."

"I don't want to meet her." Emily said after a couple of beats of silence, even though there was an obvious weakness in her firm tone now.

It was seven thirty in the morning, and Emily was sitting on the couch opposite her mother in their lavish living room. Already dressed in her conservative and impeccable Constance Billard uniform, Serena was about to whisk her away for a final day of study before the welcome two day break.

"I'll let your father know you're coming." There was a tone of finality in Serena's words. Emily was going to Dan's tonight if she enjoyed it or not.

Serena didn't let Emily pout for long; she knew that the little girl would pull all the tricks out to get Serena to change her mind on the living arrangements for the weekend.

"What happens if she's there?" Serena and Emily had made the short walk from their gloved-doorman apartment building to the elite school hidden behind the high stone walls. Now that they were standing just outside the delicately designed iron-wrought gates, Emily was reluctant to leave.

"Then you're going to smile, and be nice to her." Rearranging the pale pink knee high skirt she had put on that morning, she knelt down to her height. "Your daddy is still your daddy. Your daddy likes Olivia, and he would like it if you could at least try to like her." Serena tried to place her words carefully.

Emily pouted a little more and the finally, slowly, she nodded.

**G~G**

With his grey trench coat in one hand, and one foot practically in the elevator, read and waiting to whisk him down the twenty-odd floor building, Dan glanced back at Olivia who had settled herself down on his couch with her laptop balanced on her lap.

"Are you sure you're okay here by yourself?" He asked for the third time in the last five minutes. He needed to go pick his daughter up from school, and Olivia had decided that it would be a million times easier if she wasn't there.

"I'm fine." Olivia smiled, flashing two rows of perfect white teeth, an occurrence that was becoming a welcoming regularity. "I have emails to catch up on." She patted the top of her computer. "Go, get Emily. Have some one-on-one time with her."

They both knew the return was not likely to be pretty.

Ignoring the curious glances and whispers behind the back of raised palms of waiting parents, au pairs and nannies outside the communal gates of Constance Billard and Saint Jude's, finding a welcome and needed friend in Vanessa Abrams-Archibald, Dan waited patiently for the final bell to echo out of the school's wooden doors.

"So…" Vanessa was just about to initiate conversation with her silent friend when the bell finally sounded, followed by the younger students flying down the stairs before the swarm of upper class-men.

"Daddy." His blonde girl squealed; separating from her friends, her smile brightening when she saw he was alone; her earlier argument with him almost forgotten.

"Hey baby girl." Dan smiled, bending down on one knee so he could properly hug his daughter. "It's so good to see you."

"I want to do so much this weekend." Emily didn't need any more prodding; she was off at a million miles a minute as she mapped out the weekend. Dan managed a goodbye to Vanessa as she was whisked away by her own son before he started to follow Emily.

"That's great." Dan smiled down at Emily once she'd stopped talking; they were almost back to his building. "There's something I want to do first though…" He started gently.

Emily stopped dead, starling other Manhattan-ites as they bustled around the father-daughter duo in a rush to their next destinations. She looked up at her dad slowly and the enthusiasm disappeared from her eyes. She had promised her mother she would be nice to Olivia, but it didn't mean she wanted to do it.

"Is Olivia at your place?" She asked quietly as they started walking again, Emily at a much slower pace.

"She really wants to meet you." It was an answer and a reason. Emily didn't reply, but at least she kept walking and didn't bolt in the other direction. "You're gonna like Olivia." Dan kept trying to make conversation on the way back to his building, but Emily wasn't biting so they kept the walk silent.

**G~G**

Emily pressed the emergency stop button as the lighted numbers high above the elevator doors slowly neared the end, the only one that wasn't a number, the _P_, sending the small space into a silent darkness.

Her dad hadn't said a single word to her once it was obvious she was disappointed with the presence of Olivia. He was tired from fighting against the obvious resistance.

"What's wrong now Emily?" Dan sighed; the argument was going around in circles; with no end in sight.

"Do you still love me daddy?" Out of all the questions Dan had considered she'd ask he hadn't actually been expecting that one.

"Of course I do." He answered without hesitation. "I'm always going to love you Em."

"Then why aren't you with mommy?" _If you loved me, you'd still be with mommy_; Dan could almost hear the silent accusation.

"Because…" Dan started and then stopped to think. "Your mother and I are very proud and stubborn people." He answered vaguely, offering no other immediate explanation for the complicated question.

"It's been a long time since your mom and I divorced Em." Dan slid down the wall of the elevator to sit on the floor, pulling Emily onto his lap. "We both moved on a long time ago." He wasn't about to explain to his daughter his past, and until now secret, relationships. "Remember, your mom married Julian _and _Carter."

Emily looked like she wanted to argue a little more, but even she knew she couldn't come up with a winning argument.

"Please, I want you to meet Olivia. I really do think you'll like Olivia."

Emily cuddled up against her father, "Fine." The word was muffled by his coat. She had admitted defeat, and she was ready to meet the woman that was apparently claiming her dad's heart.

**G~G**

_**So…this would have been up earlier today but as I've learnt it's probably a good idea to keep consciousness once you're awake and standing…otherwise you get a killer headache that no amount of water/Tylenol can save.**_

_**I know there's a lot of Olivia/Dan in this story as well but I gave you guys Derena in the morning, and there's a lot more Derena coming in the coming chapters. (You have to get through the characters you don't like before you can get to the ones you love) And you all know who end game is going to be =D**_

_**Review, and I'll update again really soon, I'm finally on a roll with this story is again =D**_

_**Casey xXx**_


	11. Too Much To Bear

Emily Elizabeth Humphrey, the child heiress to the massive Rhodes/van der Woodsen fortune and the spoiled only child of teenage sweethearts Serena van der Woodsen and Dan Humphrey, promised, until she was blue in the face, to her mother that she _had _tried to be nice to her father's girlfriend; that she had gone into his apartment at the beginning of that weekend with the intentions of befriending Olivia Burke.

_Dan looked up and offered a small, comforting smile to Olivia as he stood, leaning against the archway that led into the kitchen; the smells of an aromatic dinner wafting through the large home behind him, as she sat on the couch opposite Emily._

_The two blonde girls had been staring at each other all afternoon, since Emily had walked through the front door clinging to her father's hand like she had done when she was five years old and starting pre-school again, anxious about the unknown. _

_While the elder of the two had attempted to play nice, making an effort to get to know the smaller one; Emily had just evaluated her silently, mentally comparing the actress to her much more beautiful and sophisticated mother._

"_What sorts of music do you like Emily?" Olivia tried another conversation starter, she was beginning to run out of ideas; it was like this little girl was a mute. _

"_All sorts." Emily offered the closed reply, allowing for no further conversation. Olivia sighed, there was a limit to how long she could play the child's games, and stood up to join Dan in the kitchen._

"_She's not usually like that." Dan offered as an explanation, wrapping one hand around Olivia's small waist, pulling her into him tightly; kissing her softly. "She'll come around."_

_The low indescribable sound that came from deep within Olivia's throat suggested that she thought otherwise, but she never vocalised it properly if she did._

Serena stared doubtfully at her daughter as she told her about the weekend, about how they had spent the day at Central Park, how they had gone to Grandad Rufus' art gallery, about how she had made every effort to be nice to Olivia, and if she hadn't come across that way then she couldn't be held to blame.

People always told Serena that her daughter was just a miniature version of herself, but the more she watched how her daughter would act, and how she would talk; the more she realised that she was going to have to limit the time she allowed her to spend at the Waldorf-Bass's.

"I spoke to your father last night Emily." Serena finally spoke, revealing that she knew her daughter's lies.

"Are you saying I'm lying?" Emily sounded shocked and hurt, and her innocent doe eyes widened. _Yep,_ she had been definitely spending too much time around her Aunt Blair.

"I think you're saying what you want me to hear." Serena smiled at her daughter, pulling her up onto the couch next to her. How many times had she told her romantic daughter that she was not getting back together with her father? Serena had lost count, and she no longer bothered to keep reminding her of that, as her words were obviously falling on deaf ears.

"I don't _want _to like her." Emily finally grumbled, giving in to the silence in the room. "You never made me like any of your boyfriends." She pointed out fairly.

Serena laughed, leaning down to kiss her daughter's head, admitting defeat. "Fine." She mumbled into Emily's hair quietly. "You don't have to like Olivia."

**G~G**

After Serena managed to get the nine year old settled into bed for the night, to get a good night sleep before another week of school, she curled up in one of the armchairs in the living room, facing a window overlooking some of the best views Manhattan had to offer.

Her blackberry was in her hands, her crimson red manicured fingers brushing past the small buttons; brushing past the numbers for Dan's cell. She didn't like the fact that she now knew his cell phone number off by heart, after only months of communication. She didn't like that she had to spend so much time with the only man she had ever invested everything into.

She had days where she believed that this movie was just someone's idea of a cruel joke.

"Serena, what is it?" Dan sounded slightly annoyed once she finally dialled the number. She recognised that it was getting late and that he was either working, or with Olivia; but she didn't care.

"I'm not making Emily like Olivia. She doesn't have to like her if she doesn't want to."

"Se…" Dan went to speak, but she interrupted him again.

"I never once told her that she had to like anyone I was with; it's a little hypocritical if I expect her to do so for Olivia."

That stopped Dan; he had never really hidden his distaste for Serena's choice in men. There was some grumbling from his end of the line and then it went dead.

_For years, from the first brief encounter until her mystery-clouded return from boarding school, I considered what it would be to know Serena van der Woodsen; not what the society pages in the paper told us about her, not what the mysterious _Gossip Girl_ blasts speculated on, but what it would be like to know the _real _Serena van der Woodsen._

Despite the fact that it was closing in on ten p.m. on a Sunday night, and all the model heiress mother wanted was to curl up in bed, she was sitting at her desk looking over pages for the latest charity fundraiser she was involved with; reminiscent of her mother when Serena had been a teenager.

She often missed those days when she was a carefree teenager, when she was rebellious enough to take spontaneous trips to Europe because she felt like it, when she could skip classes to hang out on the Met steps or in Central Park with Blair.

She often resented the responsibility that her mother had thrust upon her when the elder van der Woodsen woman decided that it was time for Serena to become the society woman that she was; after her first divorce.

Serena had loved being a mother, giving all her time and attention and devotion to her little blonde haired angel; she had always declared that she would never turn into her mother.

_The public perception of Serena van der Woodsen was that she led a charmed life, with the best of everything. She might have had the money, and the materialistic possessions but all she was, was a girl crying out for love._

**G~G**

Serena had purposefully kept her day plans from Emily as she dropped her off at school the next day, the little girl was still sensitive to anything to do with her dad, Olivia and the movie; and she didn't want her to deal with the trifecta.

She sat in the back of the limo that her mother insisted that she used, as the uniformed chauffeur navigated his way through Monday morning traffic, her sapphire eyes skimming the lines of the script that had been delivered by messenger over the weekend.

She had been invited to a sit down where the cast would read through the lines, to smooth out any last minute kinks before filming started next week.

Serena briefly wondered what would happen when the crew rolled into the quiet halls of Constance Billard, and broke the normalcy in her daughter's routine; what would happen when Olivia spent all day in the same school as her daughter. Every girl in the prestigious school who had a cell phone and internet access knew about Dan and Olivia's relationship, thanks to the ever present 'Gossip Girl'. Then she pushed it from her mind, she would be there to protect her daughter.

_She went out with a complete stranger, who she knew nothing about, that night, to avoid facing the people she had hurt and left behind. She was always taking chances, giant leaps into the dark, and sometimes those leaps turned into something better._

"She doesn't know me. Nobody knows me. It's cool, it's fine." Max read from the script, and Serena silently noted that the best man for the job had won, as he spoke just like Dan had.

"Uhm, from last night, right? I'm sorry about that."

Everyone was sitting around a large table that was in one of the conference rooms in the movie studio that was financing the movie. Serena and Olivia were separated only by Dan, and as Olivia read, Serena noticed from the corner of her eye that Dan was smiling proudly at her.

"You remember me? She remembers me!"

Serena pushed her chair back, startling Dan as the actor's continued to read. She picked her bag up and quietly exited the room, with no one noticing except for the man who had been sitting next to her.

She was over Dan; she had been over Dan for seven long years.

But she was still walking away from the script; their story.

**Thoughts? The story is really going to get moving now, so that means not too long (hopefully) before you all get the coupling you want. =D**

**Curiosity, does anyone want Dan/Olivia to last? Just wondering**

**Don't forget to review, 'cause you're all the best**

**Casey xXx**


	12. Unsettling Realisations, Part I

_Serena pushed her chair back, startling Dan as the actor's continued to read. She picked her bag up and quietly exited the room, with no one noticing except for the man who had been sitting next to her._

_She was over Dan; she had been over Dan for seven long years._

_But she was still walking away from their script; their story._

Ignoring the occasional beeping that vibrated from her blackberry deep inside her handbag, it was most likely either her ex-husband or her mother; neither she really wanted to talk to at the moment, Serena enjoyed walking through the streets of Manhattan, unnoticed by the throbs of people that passed her – camera wielding tourists ogling at famous landmarks, hectic natives rushing past in their daily routines.

She relished in the fact that she had made a break from the claustrophobic inducing conference room where the words of her teenaged past were being recited back to her by complete stranger; that for today, for right now, she had no one to please and no responsibilities to adhere to.

Without thinking, her strappy-heeled/pedicured feet guided her towards the closest _Starbucks_, the alluring thought of caffeine to properly jump start her start pulling her closer and closer.

While she waited in the slow moving line, staring at the ever-growing menu, she considered her next move in her day. She could go visit Blair in her office, lure her away from lawsuits to join her for an early lunch; she could go visit Nate in _his _office, she hadn't seen him in weeks as he prepared for some political campaign.

But once she had the insulated cup firmly grasped in her hands, sipping the heaven inside, she made a split decision and hailed for one of the number of cabs that littered the busy Manhattan street.

She was going down to Brooklyn.

"_Please, Jenny. I don't want anyone else to make the dress."_

_A twenty one year old Serena sat cross legged on her living room floor, her back leaning up against the couch; as she kept one close eye on her eleven month old daughter who was having a fun time exploring everything, with her hands and her moth, that was within reach._

"_Don't you want someone else…?" Serena's nineteen year old sister-in-law sat on the floor opposite Serena in a similar position._

_Dan had disappeared for a couple of hours, a meeting with his publisher, and that was just fine for the girl's who were enjoying the girl time._

_Serena had been begging her young friend, a fashion design student at NYU, to design a dress, a one of a kind, for an upcoming charity event; and so far she had been reluctant. It wasn't that she wanted this chance, she just didn't want to disappoint the girl she had considered a sister for a long time._

"_Think about it." Serena smiled, "I wear an amazing dress, and I tell the reporters that it's a Jenny Humphrey exclusive. Think of your portfolio, think of the clients you'd get."_

_Jenny faltered, having a difficult time declining; Serena's offer was just too tempting. Eventually she nodded, and Serena knocked her over as she leapt up for a hug._

"I'll be out in a minute." Serena stepped into the renovated former fire-station, music drifting quietly out of the loudspeakers positioned high in the corners and the blonde recognised the opening chords of the song to be the latest by her (second) ex-husband's band; as the feminine voice sounded from the back room.

"That's fine, take your time." Serena called back, already sorting through the outfits that hang neatly on the displays.

"Serena?" The voice sounded surprised and abruptly louder as Jenny Humphrey appeared in the doorway, behind the counter, which led into her office; she had come out instantly once she recognised the voice. "What are you doing here?" She didn't sound angry, but rather excited as she came out onto the selling floor to give her ex-sister-in-law and still popular client a hug.

"I had a free day." Serena shrugged. "So I thought I'd come down to visit my favourite fashion designer." She giggled like a teenager, and returned the hug.

"Why aren't you at the run through?" Jenny asked casually as she fixed up a display that was beginning to look slightly untidy. She had last talked to her brother last night, so she knew the woman next to her was meant to be in that room back in Manhattan with her brother and his new girlfriend.

Serena shrugged again, "I didn't want to spend my day in that room, I guess." She became overly fascinated in one particular dress and Jenny smiled to herself, dropping the questioning.

**G~G**

Dan held his iPhone in his lap, out of view from Olivia sitting next to him who was still focused on her script and on Max sitting opposite from her and out of view from the rest of the table, still oblivious to Serena's sudden exit.

They were beginning to near the end of the script, the lead up to the climax. Even Dan had beginning to tune out; how many times had he read the script? How many times had he rehearsed it late at night with Olivia? How many times had the words just felt…wrong?

"Where is Serena?" The realisation finally came as Olivia looked next to Dan at the empty seat, presumably to ask a question about how the lines should be delivered. It was now that everyone else looked at the only empty chair in the room.

"She walked out, about an hour and a half ago." Dan announced, looking up from his phone where Serena was flat out refusing to answer the calls and messages.

"Why would she do that?" Brian Goldberg asked, slightly irritated. "She was the one that asked to be involved."

Dan shrugged his shoulders, pretending not to know how Serena's mind worked; but truthfully he could take a pretty accurate guess as to why she had suddenly disappeared.

With Dan unable to give a definitive answer on the whereabouts and/or motives of Serena van der Woodsen, the table turned back to their scripts, not giving the absentee woman a second thought; they had other things they needed to worry about.

Dan turned back to his phone after flicking his eyes obligatory towards the script, to make sure he was on the right page, swiftly his fingers typed another, final, message.

_**S – What's wrong? **_

"I just…I couldn't do it." Jenny's knowing silence, and accepting nature had been enough to get the model in her store to break, and soon over another cup of coffee she had spilled everything to her ex-husband's sister. "I don't know how I'm going to do this." She looked up to Jenny for advice, an answer.

"You're looking at the wrong girl, S. I'm with your daughter; I'm still dreaming the day you two finally get back together."

Serena glared at her friend, and thought about telling her what she constantly told Emily, but she had a feeling that, like her daughter, her words would fall upon deaf ears.

"Just keep going back." Jenny finally answered. "You can do it for yourself, you can do it for Emily, you can do it show everyone just how strong you are."

Serena stayed in the Brooklyn boutique, until it was necessary for her to leave to pick Emily up from school on time. As she walked back into the afternoon air, she considered calling her mother's limo to come and collect her, just so she could see her mother's face when she found out her daughter had been down to _Brooklyn_.

Standing outside the familiar walls of Constance Billard and St Jude's, waiting for the three o'clock final bell to ring, Serena waited with a small, secret smile on her face as she considered what her mother's reaction would be if she told her that her daughter had actually caught the subway.

"Mom!" Emily fled down the stairs following the final bell, finding her mother resting on the stone wall that kept everyday Manhattan from entering the school. Emily flung her arms around her mother's waist, and Serena enjoyed the innocent moment.

"Hey, sweetheart." Serena smiled, taking Emily's book bag from her as Emily detracted herself from her mom eventually. "How did today go?"

Emily half shrugged, half nodded her head as an answer, one that Serena took as it being so-so. Nine and ten year old girls were curious; and difficult when they wanted to be, and they still wanted to know about her relationship to Olivia Burke; it was still a novelty.

"Well, how about I call Michael and cancel your tennis practice today," Serena suggested, revelling in her sudden adult rebellion against her own mother and her upper society lifestyle, "And we can go home, and pig out on ice cream, while we do your homework." There was still _some _responsibility she had to have as a mother.

Emily squealed and raced off with a bounce in her step, her straight honey blonde hair falling out of her pigtails, as she weaved in and out of people without a care in the world.

By the time that Serena managed to catch up to her daughter again and got her to stay with her, there was always the fear that she could just disappear; they were almost at their building.

For the ten minute walk back to the house, they had talked about everything; Emily's day at school, Serena's visit to Aunty J, what homework Emily had to finish, giving the topics of Dan, Olivia and _A Life to Love_ a wide birth. Both blonde's were perfectly happy with that arrangement.

"Okay, how about you run upstairs and get changed, and I'll get the ice cream ready." Serena said as the elevator finally came to a stop at the top of the building. Emily nodded racing into the lobby and dropping her bag at the base of the steps as she raced up to her room.

Serena absent-mindedly picked up the bag as she made her way through the lower floor, placing it on a chair at the dining table, before she noticed that something was not right.

She looked up, and for the first time, noticed there was someone sitting in her living room, their back to her as they looked out the window. She studied the back silently as she considered calling security, but there was something familiar about the cropped black hair.

"Carter?" She choked, grabbing the edge of the kitchen counter as one hand reached out for the phone. The figure stood up and turned to smile at her.

"Hello, Serena."

_**Dum, Dum, Dum… =P**_

_**Don't abuse me =P**_

_**Next chapter…**_

_**The reason for the DS divorce is revealed**_

_**And the real turning point for the DS relationship**_

_**I loved everybody's reaction to my DO question last chapter; you were all incredibly quick to hate her. And I promise she won't be an issue for DS much longer.**_

_**Don't forget to review, because you're all incredible people and I love writing this story for you… =D**_

_**Casey xXx**_


	13. What Happens When You Want It All Back?

_**To: Kelsey and Vivi for always making me smile with your reviews, and replies. And to everyone else who has continuously read and reviewed this story xXx**_

_It was late, the small digital clock that sat amongst the mess of Serena's desk announcing the time to be eleven thirty; the dark sky of Manhattan, the bright lights of the street to far below to have any real effect, showing through the large window behind her chair._

_She wanted to be asleep, eight year old Emily had a tennis game in the morning, and Serena needed to be awake for that; she would never forgive herself if she missed her daughter's match._

_Instead of sleeping though, her tired and weary sapphire eyes narrowed as she read her bank statement for the twentieth time in the last twenty minutes; the ten thousand dollar withdrawal highlighted in bright yellow. She had money, and she was an impulsive buyer, she was the first to admit that – but even she would have remembered something at that cost. _

_She pulled the last couple of months statements out of a file in one of the drawers in her desk, looking for some other irregularity; and for the first time she noticed periodic withdrawals, of only a thousand or two at a time, nothing that would catch her attention while she scanned the monthly pieces of paper._

_Pushing the statement away from her, she leant back in her chair and let her eyes focus on the glittering diamond ring that had adorned her left ring finger for not even a year. Where the money had gone was no mystery, not to her._

_She didn't hear the elevator doors opening in the front foyer, but she didn't miss the footsteps padding towards the staircase, leading up to the master bedroom. She looked up sharply and silently watched as her dark-haired drunken husband tried to climb the stairs._

"_Are you drunk?" Serena startled him as she stood up, pulling herself to her full height to show him that he couldn't intimidate her. _

"_N…No." Carter Baizen was a lousy liar._

"_Why did you need ten thousand dollars?" She asked the question bluntly, otherwise the charismatic man that she had foolishly married, the man that could talk his way into and out of any problem, would talk his way out of answering._

"_I…I don't know…"_

"_Cut the fucking crap Carter." Serena hadn't meant to lose it, but she was tired of playing at his games._

_Carter's dark eyes narrowed to her, and Serena matched his glare. He pushed himself away from the railing and came to stand only inches away from her._

"_You don't need to worry…"_

"_Like crap I don't." If Carter had believed for a second that she would fall into the place of a perfect society wife, then he was sorely mistaken; and he had grossly underestimated who Serena van der Woodsen was._

"_It's nothing to worry about anymore…" He soothed, slurring. Serena didn't believe a single word. _

"_Get out." Serena hissed. She was going to be happier if he wasn't around to mess with her head, and her bank account. She might have jumped from marriage to marriage during her twenties, some pathological need to have a constant father-figure in Emily's life, to make up for her own absentee father; a belief that she needed to have someone in _her _life; but she was not about to sacrifice her happiness for that, she would rather be alone._

"_Serena…" Carter sounded patronizing, like he was going to tell Serena what a silly child she was being, and that they would talk about in the morning when they were all thinking straight._

"_Get out." Serena hissed it again, venom seeping through her words. _

_Carter was silent for a moment, like he was trying to evaluate just how serious she was. When he realised he was, he hissed out some words that Serena was glad Emily couldn't hear, and the uncharacteristically, even for him, raised his hand. _

_Serena didn't let him finish._

"You can be here." Serena might have choked out of surprise before, but now she stood tall, her voice no longer loving like it had been with her daughter, and cold and emotionless; her hand not moving from where it had been next to the phone, letting her grab it any second.

"Well, that's not nice Serena." Carter smiled his charismatic smile that Serena had fallen for for too long, and took a couple of steps closer to his ex-wife; Serena's eyes narrowed. "I just want to talk."

Out of the corner of her eye, Serena watched as Emily reappeared at the top of the staircase, out of her restrictive uniform and in a much more relaxed pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Serena might have not known it at the time, but Emily had woken up on the last night that Carter Baizen had stepped into the van der Woodsen penthouse and had heard the entire argument.

She silently thanked powers she wasn't necessarily sure she believed in, when the nine year old stopped, and stayed silent.

"Carter, I don't want you in this house. I don't want to talk. I want you gone _now._" Serena was wondering how long it would take the police to get here if she alerted security. She wondered how Carter Baizen had gotten past security; this was meant to be a secure building and this why she paid so much to live here.

"We need to discuss a couple of things first; I need your help." Serena managed to hold back a disbelieving snort, Carter must be delusional if he thought that she would do anything to help him and glanced back towards the staircase.

Emily had disappeared.

"Who do you owe money to now?" She asked snidely.

**G~G**

Nine year old Emily Humphrey, who had grown up in the sheltered and privileged life of the Upper East Side, sat in her bedroom on top of her pale pink bedspread, facing the door that she had securely locked.

She held her cell phone up to her ear, listening as the bland ringing filled her ear. She remembered that night that her mom had kicked Carter out of the house, she had remembered the yelling, she had remembered the cursing, and she remembered the resounding slap as her mother had beaten Carter to the blow.

"_Em, what's wrong?"_ Her father sounded instantly worried, imaging what could be happening for the phone call to come now while she was still upset for him.

"Daddy, Carter's here." Emily's voice was quiet, so nothing could be overheard.

"_What's Carter doing there Emily, are he and your mother back together?"_ Out of Serena's two remarriages, Carter was the one that Dan had hated the most; he saw past the persona that the man put out in public, he knew about the dirty business deals he made, and the dangerous people he associated with; and he didn't want his daughter to be in the same house as that.

If Serena was remarrying Carter, he would fight for the end for primary custody of his daughter. Once was a mistake too many.

"No, daddy, I think mom might be in trouble." She tried to sound strong. She tried to work out how to tell her father what had happened the last time either of the blonde women had seen that man. "He almost hit her last time." It was the only thing she could come up with now.

There was a choking sound on the other end, and Emily waited patiently. Out of all the people that she could have called, she knew her daddy would get here the fastest.

"_I'm on my way Emily. Stay in your room, and do not leave for anything. Promise?"_

Emily made the promise, and Dan disconnected the phone.

**G~G**

Dan pocketed his phone, and grabbed his house keys. He could make it from his building to Serena's in a couple of minutes if he ran the distance, and if the pedestrian traffic wasn't too heavy.

He glanced around the room, making sure that he wasn't forgetting anything that he was going to need, when he remembered Olivia sitting on the couch; waiting for him to rejoin her so they could watch a movie together.

She was watching him, one perfect eyebrow raised.

"I've gotta go." He explained hastily, moving to plant a quick kiss on her forehead. "I don't know how long I'll be."

"What's going on?" Olivia asked in concern, as the elevator doors were sliding open.

"Serena's in trouble."

**G~G**

"I'm not giving you any money." Serena repeated to Carter for the third time, hoping that this time he would understand. He had mistaken her earlier query on who he owed, as a confirmation that she was going to help. She was just curious as to who he kept managing to piss off.

"We were married, Serena. Does that mean nothing to you? We used to love each other and now you're just going to turn your back in my hour of need?" Serena thought he was full of BS.

"We didn't even make it to the first anniversary Carter, and divorcing you was the best thing I ever did. I might have been in love with you but that was because I was _stupid _enough to want to. I feel absolutely nothing now…"

"It's not like you're going to miss the money, you don't even need it. How much are you getting to work with _Dan Humphrey_?" He spat the name out. "You just keep running off with them, you filthy…"

"That's enough." Both Serena and Carter jumped when Dan's loud voice cut through the argument. "I think you need to leave, now." He addressed Carter firmly.

"You playing house again with this bitch?" Carter laughed. "You know she's only good for two things right?"

Serena thought about slapping him again, but before she could act Dan's closed fist connected with Carter's nose. Serena cracked a smile.

"You bastard." Carter cried, clenching his nose; almost certain that if he were to move his hands they would be covered in the crimson liquid of his blood. "You didn't want her, remember?"

The parents of young Emily Humphrey were both glad beyond belief that she was still locked in her bedroom, and she hadn't heard those words.

"You need to leave now." Dan repeated firmly to Carter, "I'll remove you myself if I have to." Dan, while still lean, was no longer the scrawny teenager he had once been and would have easily been able to remove Carter from the suite.

"I'll leave." Carter didn't want to end up in the ER anytime soon, and he recognised the glare in Dan's eyes. "But this isn't the last you've heard about this." He threatened.

Neither Dan nor Serena looked concerned about the threat of charges.

Dan escorted Carter to the elevator, making sure that the stainless steel doors closed completely behind him, not letting him change his mind. Once the apartment was free of Carter Baizen, Dan moved back to Serena not thinking as he wrapped her up in a tight, comforting hug.

_Dan entered his bedroom, to find his young wife of barely twenty three sitting cross legged on the mammoth bread, the navy blue bedspread underneath her crumpled as they'd been thrown haphazardly back. _

_In front of her were more catalogues and booklets than he had seen in his life, and he noticed that there was a frazzled look in her eyes._

"_Where's Em?" He asked softly, kissing her gently as he sat down next to her, pulling the closest booklet towards him. _

"_Asleep." Serena was distracted, as she flipped through another thick information booklet that her mother had dropped off an hour ago while Dan had been out._

"_What are these?" Dan sounded confused as he flipped through the booklet he had picked up, the information and enrolment on a summer camp in Switzerland. He threw away the booklet, the professional promotional photos of children playing in the idyllic scenery and the wooden chalets still glaring up at him. _

_He glanced at the others covering his bed; tennis camps, ballet camps, Constance Billard enrolments… he stopped when he came across the Connecticut boarding schools and Brown University admission papers._

"_What are these?" Dan repeated slowly, "Where did they come from?"_

"_My mom just dropped them off." Serena smiled slightly._

"_Well, we can send them back." Dan replied instantly, without any hesitation. "Tell her we don't need any of this…"_

"_Dan…" Serena paused, and Dan looked at her in surprise. She was actually looking at these seriously._

"_Seriously Serena? She's two years old. She doesn't need to enrol in Brown University yet, she still has sixteen years. Let's get her through nursery school first. What makes your mother think we're even sending _our _daughter away to boarding school? And Switzerland?" He sounded disgusted._

"_I went to Switzerland." Serena reminded him gently. "I went to all these camps; I went to boarding school for a year. I had a great time."_

"_Yeah and look…"_

_Dan stopped, surprised that the words were even coming out of his mouth. Serena looked up at him and she couldn't believe he'd said the words either._

"_Look what? Dan?" Serena asked him quietly._

"_Don't worry about it." Dan said softly, pushing the booklets away from him; "I have to go check on Emily."_

"_Look how I turned out?" Serena finished his sentence any way as he reached the door. "Are you that scared our daughter is going to be like me?" _

**G~G**

As Dan held Serena, calming the panic she thought she'd been hiding; she felt her body soften at his touch, the warm and loving embrace that made her feel like she was twenty again, and they were just getting married.

She knew that he had moved on, in seven years how could you not, and that he was with Olivia now, and that he was happy with Olivia now; but it didn't stop her brushing her glossed pink lips softly against his.

When he didn't pull away, she wrapped her arms around him tightly and kissed him again; and this time he returned it.

**I think I just wrote that in record time =D**

**What do you think so far? Carter's gone, he was never going to be a huge part in the story, and Olivia's not gone…yet, next chapter =D**

**The second flashback is just the start of the marriage meltdown, kind of the base of it all =D**

**Oh, and before I forget again – Jenny in this story is Jenny circa Season One (Good Jenny, Nice Jenny)**

**Next chapter up soon, so don't forget to review; I love them all**

**Casey xXx**


	14. I Never Stopped Loving You

_**Current status: Anyone in Chicago, on Memorial Day with the storms? Yeah, I'm stuck on a plane in DC with all flights cancelled until the storm passes, trying to get back home to Chicago. At least I'm getting the chance to write the final half of this chapter.**_

_As Dan held Serena, calming the panic she thought she'd been hiding; she felt her body soften at his touch, the warm and loving embrace that made her feel like she was twenty again, and they were just getting married._

_She knew that he had moved on, in seven years how could you not, and that he was with Olivia now, and that he was happy with Olivia now; but it didn't stop her brushing her glossed pink lips softly against his._

_When he didn't pull away, she wrapped her arms around him tightly and kissed him again; and this time he returned it._

"Se…Serena," Dan eventually moved, pulling away from his ex-wife, reluctantly. "I can't…we can't…" Staring down at the glossed lips he used to be able to kiss when ever he wanted, he found it difficult to form a full and coherent sentence.

"I know," Serena agreed half-heartedly, ignoring his words though when she closed the small gap he had created between them anyway.

Dan pulled Serena closer in to him, and as her body moulded so naturally against his, like no time had passed between them, he completely forgot about the waiting girlfriend at his home. Being this close to Serena again, it just made sense.

They broke apart, after what length of time they couldn't tell, when the sound of joyous giggling reached them from the top of the staircase.

Serena rested her forehead on Dan's shoulder, hiding the smile that had involuntarily spread across her face when she heard her daughter's, their daughter's, laughter.

"Hey Emily." Dan said after a minute, stepping back from Serena as she composed herself.

"I heard Carter leave." Emily giggled, believing all her dreams had come true at once, "I thought it was safe to come out."

"It is sweetheart." Serena turned to Emily, completely composed as her sweaty palms pressed down on the denim material of jeans. "How 'bout you go start on your homework and I'll get the ice-cream out in a second."

"Is daddy joining us?" Emily asked, taking her time, one step at a time as she descended the stairs. Wishing on eleven eleven, the candles on a birthday cake, the first star of a night, a shooting star; she was never going to doubt superstition again.

It didn't matter that it had taken so long, to get here.

"Not right now, baby." Serena said at the exact same time as Dan said, "Maybe another time."

Emily's smile grew even wider.

Dan and Serena looked at each other again, guilty looks apparent over their faces at the realisation that their nine year old daughter caught them not even a minute before anything could advance further; before it was sure to have moved further.

"I'll call you later." Dan whispered as Emily disappeared off to the dining table, humming quietly to herself. Serena nodded, unable to trust anything that would come out of her mouth.

**G~G**

_I'm sorry, but I love my ex-wife_

_I love you, but I love her more_

_She's the mother of my child, my teenage sweetheart. How can I not love her?_

Sentences, apologies, explanations raced through Dan's head as he walked through the doors to his apartment building, nodding distractedly at the doorman as he made his way over to the elevator.

Even to the successful author like himself, these excuses he was making sounded second-grade. The truth was, no matter what he said to the young woman waiting inside his home for him, he was going to emotionally kill her.

He had never moved so fast before in his relationships, not even with Serena; and he couldn't explain why not even after a fortnight the twenty-two year old had essentially moved in with him.

Now, he had to tell her that he was going to back to his ex-wife, the woman she would continue to see everyday as she became her character.

"Olivia?" He called out, entering the quiet interior of his home. "Are you still here?"

He still didn't know what he was planning on saying to the young woman, and half of him – the cowardly side of him, prayed that there would be no reply. At least he would have some more time to come up with an excuse that sounded half decent.

"I'm here." Olivia answered her voice soft as she came out of his office; the office that was generally kept off limits to everybody. In her hands was the seldom-read copy of _A Life to Love _that was kept on his bookshelf. One finger holding the place where she had been reading.

"Is Serena still in trouble?" She asked, for the sake of asking and being polite. Dan, who was standing in the middle of the living room, shook his head silently, preferring to stay silent until necessary.

"What game are you playing? With me and Serena?" The question came so suddenly, and so bluntly from her, that Dan stood with his mouth open for a second, scrambling to come up with an explanation.

"Dan, I love you. I do, but I'm not going to get caught up in a miserable relationship while you try to decide between me and your ex. You two have a daughter together, a beautiful and intelligent girl who wants you two back together; I'm still young – and I know I'm going to be the one to lose."

"Olivia…" Dan finally found the words to speak.

"What Dan?" Her voice was a mix of hurt and anger. "Are you going to tell me to stay, that you love _me, _that you're not going back to Serena?"

"I'm sorry." He wasn't going to make any excuses. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen…I'm just…sorry."

Olivia nodded, and turned back into the office, returning a second later, sans book with the one small suitcase that had all the clothes and personal effects that had come with Olivia to the penthouse.

"I'm going to be professional about this." Olivia stood next to him, facing him. "I still want this movie to succeed. You and I will be polite on the set, only taking to each other when needed."

Dan nodded, silently. Unable to say anything that would make this any easier for her; she at least deserved a dignified exit.

"I'm just so sorry Olivia." He could only make one more apology before she left his apartment.

**G~G**

Dan wanted to go straight back to Serena's, and be with the family he had lost seven years ago as a result of his pride and stubbornness. He wanted to go back and hold on to them, and never let go again.

He wanted to pretend that the last seven years had never happened, but he couldn't.

But he also knew that he couldn't keep away, and so he started the walk back to Serena's.

No one was surprised to see him back in the lobby of her 5th avenue building, they nodded and smiled and waved as he quickly made his way back to the elevator.

**G~G**

"Focus on the question, Em." Serena pushed her daughter's math workbook in front of her, trying to unsuccessfully get her to study. "Otherwise you're not going to get an A."

"What happens if I don't get an A?"

"Then Grandma is going to send you off to boarding school. You're not going to turn out like me."

"What's wrong with you mom? And when is daddy coming back?"

"Baby, I know what you saw…" Serena started to explain to her daughter that just because she had kissed Dan it didn't necessarily mean that they were back together, pausing to try and work out how she was going to word it without completely destroying her daughter, as well as any fantasies that might have popped up in her imagination, but before she could Emily pushed back from her chair.

"Daddy!" Emily squealed, racing towards the person who had suddenly reappeared in her home.

"Dan." Serena was surprised, and her dining chair crashed against the white tiles of the dining room as she stood up.

Emily launched herself at Dan, her arms locking around his legs so he couldn't move.

"Hey Em." Dan smiled down at his daughter, bending down to her height to return the hug and give her a kiss. "I'm here to talk to your mom."

Emily looked between Dan and Serena, her smile widening as she imagined their reunion.

"We can go talk in my room," Serena agreed. "We can get some privacy there. Emily you need to do your homework."

The small nine year old girl pouted, but when both parents glared at her she reluctantly moved back to her schoolwork.

**G~G**

Serena sat cross-legged on her bed, watching Dan as he paced up and down the bedroom that used to belong to the two of them.

"What happened?" Dan asked, turning to face Serena for the first time since she had closed the door. "Between us."

"You were an idiot." Serena shrugged. "And you were too proud. And you thought I was a spoilt, entitled heiress brat." She started to list off his faults.

"I never said you were a…" He faltered when he caught sight of the glare she had focused on him.

"Okay," He conceded. "Maybe I _called _you that, but I never believed you were one." It sounded stupid even for him, but luckily she understood.

"You and Emily were the two most important things to me." He continued. "I never wanted to lose either of you."

"I thought I could be a different woman with you; that I wouldn't turn out to become the next Lily van der Woodsen, but you were determined to lump me with my mother."

"I never meant to do that."

"You walked out on us Dan." She finally reminded him of the one thing he had always regretted.

"You told me to get out." Dan finally had a response, and he shot this back in a quick defence.

"I was upset, and tired." They were finally getting the chance to defend their last moments as a loving, married couple.

"You were the one that filed for divorce." He reminded her bitterly.

"You never came back. You never fought for me, or for our daughter."

They fell into an uncomfortable silence, letting the accusations settle between them.

"I never stopped loving you." Serena finally admitted, for the first time out loud and for herself.

Dan stopped in his pacing, which was great since he was about to wear a hole through the carpet and sat down on the bed next to the blonde.

"Serena, Olivia's gone, I still love you." He repeated her admission, and pulled her in for a hug. "I've always loved you – for exactly who you are."

He brushed his lips against her soft lips, stopping any more words that would be coming out of her mouth; he wasn't going to give her a chance to stop them again.

"We can do this again." He murmured, never moving his lips off hers. "We can become who we were again."

**?**

**I don't think I can ever be completely one hundred percent happy with this chapter, because I've come to the realisation that it's the last chapter (excluding the epilogue) (sorry, Vivi); but the good news is that I'm already planning a **_**prequel **_**to this story.**

**So review, and soon the Derena filled chapter that everyone is craving will be up for all of your reading pleasure =)**

**Casey xXx**


	15. And So She Smiled At Him: aka Epilogue

_**The truth was that I was finding it almost impossible to write this epilogue. How do I end a story that I've spent almost one year (eleven months to the day) writing? I started it quite a few times, got to about the three hundred word mark and then held my finger on the delete button until it all disappeared.**_

_**I hope you're all happy with this end result, I know a lot of you were waiting for Derena; and now that this is done – go read the prequel **_**This Could Last Forever. **_**That whole story consists of Derena, without all the drama of this fic =D**_

**~GG~**

"_Serena, Olivia's gone, I still love you." He repeated her admission, and pulled her in for a hug. "I've always loved you – for exactly who you are."_

_He brushed his lips against her soft lips, stopping any more words that would be coming out of her mouth; he wasn't going to give her the chance to stop them again._

"_We can do this again." He murmured, never moving his lips off hers. "We can become who we were again."_

**G~G**

_No matter how long or short it may be; everyone will experience a relationship like no other. They'll love stronger than they ever will in the future; they'll fight harder, they'll love longer. _

_It doesn't matter how old you'll be when you first meet this person, it doesn't matter how long it takes to get them to even glance back at you. In the end you'll know it all be worth it. _

Dan drifted on the cusp of waking up and continuing to sleep. He could feel the early morning sun coming through the bedroom window, hitting his face; causing him to roll over in an attempt to ignore it.

An arm curled over the body curled up against him, pulling her closer to him as her face nuzzled into his neck.

"Good morning." He whispered into her ear, as she groaned; as reluctant as he was to wake up.

"Can we just stay like this forever?" Serena whispered into his neck, her breath tickling him. "In this room, in this bed?"

It was a good idea, it was an appealing idea even; but even as Serena proposed it they could hear the sounds of footsteps pounding the staircase.

"I don't think she would ever allow it." Dan moaned, struggling to sit up; if he didn't get up now, he would give in to temptation and spend the whole day in bed.

"Today's the day, today's the day, today's the day." Ten year old Emily burst through the closed door of her parent's bedroom, ignoring every time they had warned her about knocking first.

Dan laughed, climbing out of bed as Serena covered her face with his pillow; she still refused to wake up.

"You still have to go to school." Dan reminded his daughter as she jumped up and down on the spot, with too much energy for this early in the morning. He shuffled out of the bedroom, closely followed by Emily, to make his first cup of morning coffee.

The little blonde girl pouted, and stared up at her father with a puppy dog expression. "Can't I stay home with you and mommy today?" She asked sweetly. "You two get to spend the whole day getting ready, why can't I?"

"Because, you're ten; you don't need a whole day to get ready." Dan laughed, already pulling out her breakfast. "You can get ready after school."

Today was the day. After months of frustration and tension, unlocked memories and resurfaced feelings, _A Life to Love_ was premiering to a sold out crowd. It had been labelled as the must see movie of the year, and Dan could only hope that his story could hope up to that sort of title.

Emily pouted again, at one last attempt to win a day off school; but Dan only shook his head.

"Go get dressed." He advised his daughter after the last of her breakfast and juice had been devoured. "And don't go ask your mom for the day off!" He warned as she disappeared from view.

**~GG~**

"Are we alone?" Dan returned home after dropping Emily off inside the school gates, to find that the mother of his daughter was still in bed, albeit now she was sitting up with a cup of tea on the table next to her, and a book in her lap.

Dan nodded, leaning over to kiss her cheek tenderly and run his fingers through the loose hair. "You're beautiful this morning." He whispered as his lips were pressed against her skin.

"My mother…is going to be here in an hour with her hairdresser." Serena dropped the book and wrapped her arms securely around Dan's neck, as he kissed her again. "We should really, make the most of it before I have to get out of this bed."

In the five months that had passed since Dan had declared that he still loved his ex-wife, they had been unable to kissing each other every chance they got. Acting like they were still teenagers they were always holding hands, and giggling; sneaking in kisses whenever possible.

Dan lowered himself back down on the bed, running his hands down the silk material of Serena's nightgown. "People are going to start to think we have a problem." He murmured between kisses.

"Let them think that." Serena moved her hands from his neck, to expertly pull the t-shirt he had thrown on to wear out, off. Her soft lips slowly worked their way down his bare torso

Before they could get any further though, the unmistakable _tap _of heels hitting the polished wooden floor echoed through the otherwise quiet house.

Serena groaned in frustration, the back of her head hitting the soft pillow underneath her. "She's early." Serena sobbed, all thoughts of a romantic morning tryst with her fiancé disappearing before her eyes.

Dan pulled his discarded shirt back over his head, kissing Serena's cheek one more time. "I'll stall her." He promised, allowing her to have some time to make herself look presentable for the always judging Lily van der Woodsen.

**G~G**

"Lily." Dan put on his best smile as he entered the living room to find his soon to be again mother-in-law standing in the middle of the living room, conversing quietly with her hairdresser, who was to do Serena's hair for the premiere that evening. "You're early."

"Oh, I know Daniel." Lily beamed at him with her best smile; there was still tension between them, it had been like that from the beginning, and it would always be like that. "We were just in the neighbourhood and decided to come over now. We didn't interrupt anything did we?"

"Of course not." He lied between clenched teeth. "Serena will be out in just a minute, she was just finishing getting ready." He left the woman and the hairdresser in the living room as he headed back into the kitchen, needing another cup of coffee if he was to get through the next couple of hours.

"Mom!" Dan was still hiding in the kitchen, waiting for the water to boil, when he heard Serena's voice greet her mother. "You had to come this early? Seriously?" Dan laughed at the bluntness in her voice; at least she wasn't afraid to scold the older woman.

"Oh, get over it Serena darling. You're parents, not giddy school children." Dan resolved to hide in the kitchen, away from the bickering of mother and daughter for as long as possible.

He lasted twenty minutes before Serena's desperate voice began calling his name. "Dan. Dan. Dan, babe." Each time she said his name, her voice grew in desperation. "Can you please come in here?"

He considered staying, but he couldn't listen to Serena in distress. With a placid smile on his face he entered the activity hub of his penthouse home.

"Please, tell my mother and Juan that this is a _movie premiere _and _not _a ball." She begged, as the two people in question debated behind her on how her hair should be done. "And that I'm a grown woman and I can do my own hair, and make my own choices." She smiled tightly at him, determined not to take her frustration out on him.

He looked between the two choices, and decided to play it safe by not aggravating the hormones in his fiancée.

"Lily," Dan smiled. "I think Serena's right. Juan can come back this afternoon to do Emily's hair though; I'm sure she'd love that."

Lily grumbled for a second, but realising that there was no possible way for her to win, made a quick and gracious exit with Juan the hairdresser, both of them promising to come back to fix up Emily's hair for her night out.

"Have I told you lately that you're hot?" With another couple of hours to themselves now, Dan had snaked his arms around Serena again.

"I'm not hot, I feel fat." Serena grumbled; her great mood from earlier disappearing after the brief albeit stressful encounter with her mother.

"You're gorgeous." Dan promised, rubbing his hands over the swollen bump in the front of her stomach. "You're always gorgeous."

Serena smiled; she couldn't help it as she melted against Dan. "If we hadn't been so stupid…"

She had tried to have this conversation with him a couple of times now. _If we hadn't been so stupid and stubborn, we could have had the last seven years together._

"Don't say it." Dan murmured, pressing his mouth to her hair. "What happened happened. We're a family now. That's the important thing."

**~GG~**

Dan smiled as he watched Emily sitting patiently, her legs swinging from the dining chair as the hairdresser that had been sent away that morning, worked on her blonde hair; curling her locks and pinning them back so she would look perfect for the evening.

The huge grin that had been on her face since she had arrived home from school was evidence enough that her distraught wait had been worth it.

"_Nothing fits me anymore." Serena grumbled, standing in front of the large room that was technically the walk in wardrobe for the master bedroom; staring at the rows of designer dresses that were regularly rotated each season. _

_Blair Waldorf sat on one of the armchairs in the wardrobe, choosing wisely to stay silent as her best friend grumbled her way through each piece. Dan leant against the doorframe, also choosing to stay silent._

"_There has to be something that fits S." Blair finally responded, unable to take the grumbling anymore. "You're not that big yet." _

_Dan considered advising her to wear one of the simple black dresses she'd bought while pregnant with Emily, but decided against it; the two fashion-conscious women in the room would probably shun him if he considered wearing something that was a decade old._

"_That's it." Serena threw her hands up in the air. "I have to go buy a new dress." She stalked out of the bedroom to hunt down one of her credit cards. "I'll be back later Dan." She brushed a quick kiss against his cheek. "Are you coming, B?"_

The penthouse was still devoid of Serena van der Woodsen; last time Dan had text her she was entering the fifth boutique, and she was growing more and more frustrated with each rack of dresses she looked at.

"How do I look daddy?" Emily asked him, pulling him out of his thoughts. Dan looked up at his daughter; her hair now completely curled and pinned back to frame her face.

"You look just like your mother." He complimented her, and Juan. "It's perfect."

Emily run off to go show off her hair to her grandmother who had excused herself to another room to make a phone call, and the hairdresser started packing up. Dan decided it was going to be a long afternoon as his two girls finished getting ready.

**G~G**

"Finally." Dan grinned good naturedly, as Serena and Emily both emerged from the younger girl's room; her hair still intact due to half a can of hairspray, her brand new pale pink dress fitting her perfectly.

"You both look gorgeous." He stood up out of his armchair; smoothing out the pants of his tuxedo, and grabbed Serena's hand squeezing lightly. "Are you ready to do this?"

Emily nodded excitedly; running off to the elevator that would take them down to the waiting limo that had been sent over from Brian Goldberg.

Dan ran a finger over the diamond bump on Serena's finger, the ring he had first given her eleven years ago; the same ring he had slipped back onto her finger four and a half months ago.

The model had ended up finding a dress that she decided was a perfect match against her pregnant stomach, from a designer that Dan couldn't pronounce. The emerald green material suited the blonde hair that she had styled _herself_, and all he was really concerned about was that it showed every beautiful curve.

The strapless design would also make it a lot easier for him to get her out of it tonight.

**~GG~**

"You have to be on your best behaviour tonight." Serena warned Emily as they both sipped at their orange juice. "You have to stay with me and daddy the entire time." The last thing either of her parent's wanted was for her to run off and start talking freely to a reporter.

Emily nodded and smiled innocently.

The lights and the crowds warned them that they reached their destination, and as their chauffeur pulled up behind the limo that was currently in front of the carpet Dan and Serena watched as the two stars of the movie stepped out, amidst the camera flashes and fans screaming.

Dan rubbed a hand against Serena's thigh, lifting her hand to kiss the back of her palm. "This will be alright." He promised, as the limo crept forward to the now vacant place.

Emily climbed out of the limo first, waiting patiently for her parents to follow her, staying true to the promise she had made earlier. Dan climbed out, holding his hand out to help Serena and the flashes of the camera multiplied as everyone vied for the perfect shot.

"Serena, Serena. Dan. Serena. Dan." Their names were being called out from every direction as they slowly walked up the carpet, stopping every couple of minutes to pose and smile for the cameras.

"Emily." Dan held on tightly to his daughter's hand when her name started to be called out, stopping her from running off to talk to someone.

They eventually made it to the end of the red carpet where Olivia and Max seemed to be having an interview with an entertainment program.

"Dan and Serena," The reporter beamed as the couple approached them. "How about a couple of shots of the four of you?" He didn't stop to consider the implications in this, and was oblivious to the frozen smile now on Olivia's face.

He didn't know how it ended up so that Serena was on the other side of the shot, or how it was Olivia's shoulders he had his arm wrapped around; all he knew was that it was the most uncomfortable minute of his life.

"This is ridiculous." He heard Olivia grumble behind closed teeth, and Dan couldn't help but smile.

"I'm sorry." Why did he still feel the need to apologise to the girl he hadn't been with for five months? It was possible that he still did feel guilty for kissing Serena while he was still technically with her. Or that he had dumped her suddenly to run back to Serena. Or that Serena was pregnant within a couple of weeks.

"Don't talk to me." Olivia turned her back on him the second the last photo had been taken. It was obvious that she still harboured the same cold feelings that she had during the six weeks of shooting.

He wrapped his arm back around his fiancée's waist, kissing her one last time before they disappeared into the movie theatre. "I really love you." He whispered to her, "I'll love you forever."

Then they disappeared from the view of the cameras, Emily in front of them as she went to find the perfect seat.

**G~G**

_And so she smiled at him, a smile that was so pure and so true, that he felt like all the problems that existed in today's world were only the tiniest obstacles to be overcome. _

_**The End**_

_**Casey xXx**_


End file.
